Flashfire

Ch5

"Look," Caleb said, trying to sound chipper. "I'm sure this time we'll find something."

Liam walked after Caleb, arms crossed. He made a noncommittal sort of snort. Caleb was walking sure-footed, head high. Liam felt more like a ghost than ever, despite physically trailing behind Caleb.

For fifteen minutes they poked around. They found what you would expect in such a place. As time went on, Caleb became more agitated until it was physically visible. Liam sighed, hands shoved into his pants pockets, and kicked at a pebble.

Caleb, scratching the side of his sweaty brow, looked back at Liam. "So, you're sure—"

"That I don't remember anything? Nope!"

Caleb mumbled something unintelligible beneath his breath, and went back to stomping around. As the wind blew, Liam couldn't help but smile faintly. Watching him like this, face screwed up in blind determination, a wave of endearment hit Liam. Caleb, (who was very different around Liam than the rest of the world), was a very headstrong man. Once he set his sights on something, anything short of physical harm would be hard pressed to stop him.

Liam and Caleb's friends had eventually overlapped, of course. He knew that Caleb had a reputation for having a bit of a thick skull, for better or for worse.

"There just has to be something!" Caleb shouted suddenly, causing Liam to startle.

Liam chuckled, running his shoe over the debris and barely-covered dirt. "Take your pick—used needles, or perhaps that pile of beer cans—oh hey, look, some condoms!"

Caleb spun around so quickly Liam was, for the briefest moment, sure they were going to crash into one another. But that didn't happen. So instead, Liam gave him a rueful grin.

Scowling, Caleb put his hands on his hips, eyes continuing to scan the area. "You know, perhaps we're going about this all wrong."

"Oh no," Liam replied brightly. "This is definitely where my body was."

"No no no. The police didn't find anything here. So maybe, maybe, maybe..."

Liam waited patiently.

"Ah-ha! Perhaps we should figure out how you got here!"

Liam frowned deeply, trying to think through his brain fog and headache. Every time he came back it was becoming more difficult to be...present. No, that wasn't quite the word. It was as though he were this big thing being crammed into too tight a space. Yet, although, that wasn't an apt description either. Perhaps it was more like trying to hold an ocean's worth of water in some cheesecloth. Regardless, it wasn't the greatest feeling in the world. He wondered idly how it had felt so...Normal, previously.

Liam looked up at the sky and shrugged. "Who knows? Perhaps I walked? Ran?" He couldn't help it—he giggled. "Perhaps I flew, like one of my little birds?"

Caleb was frowning deeply. Liam cocked his head to the side, still smiling, albeit confused. "What?"

"You. You're just..."

"Yes?"

"Different."

The space between them was filled with an entanglement of wind and silence. Liam hated seeing Caleb like this. So, without much thought, he pulled Caleb into a hug. The grip tightened once he felt the other man.

"You're shaking."

Caleb said nothing. They continued hugging a moment longer, and then Liam pulled away, proffering a little smile. "Hey. How about this. Let's call it a day, and—"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"C'mon. You seem really upset. We'll go grab some food, and—"

"Fuck, Liam, we just started!"

Liam blinked, admittedly baffled. Caleb rubbed his face. "Look, let's just keep going. Let's go."

"Where?" Liam asked when Caleb started to head back to their car.

"I d'no. Somewhere. Maybe we can go back to your place, and—"

"I really think that we should stop for today—"

Abruptly Caleb spun around. "No!"

Liam crossed his arms. "You're acting ridiculous—"

"Am I?" Caleb said, and as he spoke his voice continued to get higher in pitch. "Every single second wasted, every single time it takes to bring you back, it's harder. It's harder on me, and harder and you, and pretty soon I—"

Caleb slammed his mouth shut with a gasp. Liam was curious. Caleb didn't speak.

"Pretty soon you what?"

Caleb pursed his lips into a thin line and set his jaw.

"You what, Caleb?"

Liam watched the other man swallow. He was starting to get angry. "What? Is there something you're not telling me?"

Still Caleb didn't speak. Liam, cranky already from the pain throughout his body, snapped. "What does it matter?"

Caleb looked utterly mortified. "What does it matter?"

"Yeah!" Liam spat. "Okay, so, we figure out who murdered me, and why—then what? I'm still dead Caleb!"

"Lower your voice," Caleb urged quietly.

"Why?" Liam sneered. "Not like it matters! Have you forgotten where we are? We're in the shitty part of the city! The only things here that would hear us are rats and drug-addled idiots who would probably think they're on a bad trip, hearing me going on about how I'm dead!"

"Stop it," Caleb said.

"Why?" Liam taunted with a high pitched laugh. He threw his arms into the air and spun in a circle, shouting at the clear sky above them. "I'm dead! Hey, everyone, guess what! I'm a zombie, or something!"

"Stop it!" Caleb shouted.

Liam pointed at Caleb. "No. You don't get to decide when you're a necromancer and when you're not. You can't just hide all this stuff away. You can't just hide me away."

Now Caleb looked hurt, truly. "I would never try to do that."

Liam took a step forward and took Caleb's face within his hands. "I just don't understand. None of this matters. You're torturing yourself with this. Just stop it already—"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't!"

Caleb jerked his face out of the other man's hands. For a tense moment, neither pair seemed sure of what to do. Then, with a scoff, Caleb turned his back and started going towards the car.

"Just get in the damn car, Liam."

So with a sigh, Liam did just that.