Flashfire

Ch25

Caleb walked back to the bar, head down, his hands in his pockets as he thought about everything. He didn't want Paul to know that he had really seen something in the forest. Caleb didn't want to bother him anymore. Of course Liam's death would eventually become a dull ache for Paul, something to heal over, something that would leave a pink scar on his life (unlike Caleb, whose wound would always be quivering and pushing to the surface for the rest of his life). But just because Paul would eventually get over Liam's death didn't erase the fact that Paul was actively grieving, too. He truly didn't want Paul to be caught up in all this anymore. The man had his own life and healing to do without being weighed down by Caleb's insanity.

Because that was what it was. Caleb realized that now. Even so, he was too far deep to stop now. There wasn't going back. The reality of everything was here in the present. Insane as it might be, Caleb had become a necromancer. How would he turn back from that now, empty-handed? He had to keep going until he had something concrete regarding Liam's death.

His thoughts strolled with him. A small smile played on Caleb's lips, thinking about the first kiss he had shared with Liam.

Liam had gotten him properly drunk. Caleb had become somewhat of a regular at the bar. His friends had become worried that he was becoming an alcoholic, or that something horrible had happened and he was dealing with it through drinking. It took Caleb awhile, but he finally admitted to them it was the fact that he was smitten with the bar's owner.

Caleb didn't know Liam's sexuality. The subject had largely been danced around. As time went on, however, Liam began to drop hints here and there. Caleb was convinced he was at least bisexual, if not pansexual. That night, however, Liam had kept feeding Caleb free drinks until he was the only one in the bar. Liam had talked him up the entire time, leaning against the bar, drinking himself. By the time he closed the bar, it was three AM.

"I wanna show you something," Liam had told him, not exactly sober.

"Sure," Caleb replied, slipping off the stool. Luckily for him Liam was already around the bar, because he stumbled directly into Liam. They both laughed loudly at Caleb's drunkenness.

When they were by the door, Caleb swaying where he stood, he watched Liam unlock the door. A thought swam through his muddled, alcohol filled mind. They stepped out into the night, Liam first.

"Watch your step," Liam instructed, shutting the door and locking it.

"Wait," Caleb said. "You unlocked the door! The bar was closed this entire time?!"

As Liam began to lead Caleb away, he grinned. "Guilty as charged."

"When did you lock everyone out?!"

"Around midnight. You went to take a piss, and there was a lull, so I just locked up."

"You sly dog," Caleb admonished with a laugh. "I was wondering why no one was coming in!"

"The sign wasn't even on," Liam had mumbled, and Caleb caught a blush on him as they passed beneath a street lamp.

The pair chatted on and off until they reached their destination. They stood in front of a gas station. In the parking lot was a billboard. Caleb watched, fascinated, as Liam jumped up a few times. He finally caught the last rung of the ladder, and yanked it down. Caleb's mouth fell open.

"What—what're you—what are you—"

"Coming?" Liam asked with a wide grin, already on the third rung.

"Can we?" Caleb had squeaked, looking around them, bewildered.

"I do it all the time," Liam had called. Caleb was surprised how quickly he made it up the ladder.

Against his better judgment, Caleb went to the ladder and began to climb. Once he finally made it, he found Liam holding his hand out to him, grinning. Shaking, Caleb grabbed his hand and crawled onto the narrow walkway.

"Alright?" Liam asked, still holding onto him.

"We're so high up," Caleb squeaked.

Liam helped Caleb situate until he was stable and comfortable. Once Caleb was assured, Liam stood next to him, still grinning. "Yeah, but it's a great view."

It was a great view. The city sprawled out before them. The major highway could be easily seen from here, the red taillights of the few cars out this late trailing in a blur. Beyond it stretched more buildings. The skyscrapers died away in the distance, leveling out and becoming darker as the city melted into the sleeping suburbs.

Caleb looked up at Liam, his face screwed up. "How often do you come up here?"

Liam had slipped his hands into his pockets, looking wistful. "A lot. I come up here when I want to think. Alone. Always alone."

Caleb blinked, not understanding why Liam sounded so sad.

"Aren't you afraid?"

Liam blinked and looked at Caleb. "Huh?"

"Aren't you afraid?"

Liam still didn't understand. He cautiously but swiftly sat next to Caleb, dangling his legs off the edge. "Afraid of what?"

Caleb peered over the edge. "Falling."

Liam snorted loudly.

Caleb now looked confused. "What?"

Liam shrugged, and the sad expression floated over his face again. "Afraid of falling? Nah. Death was never something that concerned me."

Caleb was intrigued.

"People can go at any time. They could have a brain aneurysm, get shot by a random stray bullet. I think when it's your time to go, it's your time. Why fight it? Why worry about it?"

All at once, Caleb realized for the first time how beautiful Liam was.

"I don't wanna be one of those old people who shit themselves and can't remember who anyone is. I want to just live my life to the fullest, with no regrets. After that? Anything after that is gravy. So long as I go having done everything I set out to do, then I don't care when I die. My life isn't very happy anyway, so."

Caleb had never heard Liam say anything like that before. He was going to ask what about his life wasn't happy. Instead, at the last second, different words tumbled out of Caleb's mouth.

"Is there anything you haven't done yet, in this very moment, that would make you feel like you hadn't accomplished everything you wanted to if you fell off this billboard right now?"

Liam leaned over and kissed Caleb. When Caleb didn't pull away, Liam cupped the back of Caleb's head. It had dawned on Caleb right then, as it felt like warm electricity was traveling from his lips throughout his body, that he couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy.

When Liam pulled away, they pressed their foreheads together. Caleb would have the memory of Liam's eyes sparkling against the faint lights of the highway in his mind, forever.

Liam had smiled, running his thumb along the back of Caleb's head that he still gently cupped. "Not anymore."