Fire & Ice

thirtysix

With PJs package, my whole trip home was kind of ruined. True to his word, two days later, a letter was waiting in the mail box of our new house containing a letter and the death certificates. PJ was killed in a car accident while driving home from meeting his parole officer. Along with the cause of death, there was also the information from his lawyer requesting a phone call with us to go over some other things in his will that was left for us. We called once we finished reading the letter wanting this all to be over.

            Turns out some of the paperwork that was in the box was his banking information. His lawyer told us we were named as the only ones to receive his monetary assets, including what was left of his police pension. The pension will be paid out over time until it runs out. After all the necessary taxes and legal fees were taken out, the sum remaining in his bank accounts was just under $200,000. Mom and I were both shocked at the amount, not expecting it. Then suddenly it was all over and in an account set up for our benefit and the last of PJ was gone.

            I felt like I was in a daze those first two days, like nothing and everything mattered. I didn't know how to feel then I felt everything at once. When we got out of the meeting with the lawyer and got back to the house, I called Doctor Ellis and had an emergency session with him because I didn't know how to handle it all anymore. We talked through my feelings for three hours. When we finished up our session he told me he would give me a call with a therapist he recommends here in Boston for mom and I to see together.

            Things felt a bit more stable after that conversation. The world slowed back down again and I could focus on the present. I felt bad that Cassie had to deal with my emotionally recked self. I didn't want to do anything but just lay in bed and not move. Mom was no better then I was. I had a feeling if she didn't talk to someone about it soon, her feelings were going to eat her alive. Having Alyssa here definitely helped her though. Even though I could tell Alyssa was still trying to figure out what to do to help mom, she just stood steady by her side. She also called up the hospital and explained everything that happened to get mom a small leave of absence while we work through everything.

            On the third day of behind home, I felt a bit more myself and wanted to get out of the house so I went shopping with Cassie for some furniture for my new room. All the joy of coming home to a new house now completely forgotten in this mess. Cassie and I went to a few different places looking at furniture and I found a few pieces I liked. I bought a new nightstand and desk for my room. Alyssa let me borrow her truck so I had them put the pre-assembled nightstand into the bed along with the box that contained the desk. We also hit up the hardware store and I got some paint for my room to cover the white walls. I went with a green gray color and also bought all the painting supplies I could think of. The last stop before we headed back home was Target. I ended up buying a new smart TV for my room and a cube shelf for other things I couldn't fit in the closet or the nightstand.

Just as we returned home and were starting to bring everything inside, I got a phone call from Doctor Ellis with the information of the therapist for mom and I. He got us into an appointment for tomorrow and I thanked him a few times over for it. As mom and Alyssa helped us bring everything inside I told them about the phone call and I could see the relief in Alyssa's face.

After we finished bringing everything upstairs, mom disappeared with Alyssa as Cassie and I started the task of putting together my new desk and shelf. The shelf didn't take long at all, the directions were really clear and easy to follow and we got it together in about a half an hour. Though when we tried to put together the desk, we ran into trouble. About half way through the build we realized we mixed up almost all of the pieces because we were missing a page in the manual and I couldn't help but just laugh. When I got myself together Cassie and I slowly took everything apart and called the store to complain about what happened. They apologized and offered to have someone come in and put it together for us and I agreed right away not wanting to go through this again.