Gehraiyaan.

Chapter 42

Just when you feel that you're being freed from a cage that you have been locked in for years, life has its own ways of tearing you down and mercilessly throwing you back to where you belong - to the misery, the guilt, the regrets and the sorrow. Some of us are merely destined to water the plants of our own grief and simply gaze that the beauty of happiness from afar.

The next morning, hours before the food delivery, I received a video call from Maa and even though I was more than excited to talk to her after a gap of four days, it turned out to be one of worst phone calls, ever.

Long-story-short : Tia's long-term boyfriend had proposed her and asked for her hand in marriage. His family is in a rush for his marriage, which naturally means that Tia would have to fix the date within two months. But Maa - being the conservative Indian mom she is - has told Tia that no one can get married until the oldest daughter in the family does, which turns all the attention in my direction.

"Maa, what's wrong with you?", I frown in disdain. "What's wrong?", Maa questions back obliviously. "Di, see - this is the thing, she doesn't even understand that she's wrong", behind Maa, Tia cries.

"She found the one she loves, Maa. Let her move on with her life. Why does she have to depend on my decisions to live hers?", I ask her. "Wherever we go, we shouldn't let go of your beliefs. I've always told the three of you that in our family, the oldest child marries first and I'm not changing that for anyone", Maa remains adamant.

"Maa, it's not her fault that I couldn't settle down in time. At least let her live her life!", I argue. "What's the rush for her? She's just 23", Maa says back. "But Maa, Ajay's family is looking for a bride for him. There is a rush because I might lose him!", Tia bawls her eyes out.

"Di, why don't you just get married? Tell Maa and she'll find someone for you. Just get married", Tia has an absurd solution and it simply silences me. "Tia---Tia, I---that's not the way out. I cannot get married for your convenience", I tell her. "Oh, really? And you expect me to wait for your auspicious time to come?", she scoffs in a rather rude tone.

"I didn't say that. I'll talk to Maa and we'll figure something out", I say. "You better figure something out quick! Because if I lose Ajay, I'll kill myself", she threatens. "Tia, that's not the way out!", I scold. "You don't tell about what the way out, or the way in is, okay? I'm not that 15 year old kid you can control. And for once, just stop being selfish and think about me. I mean, it's your fault and your bad luck that you couldn't settle down and find love, but I don't have to pay the price for it, right? How long are you going to stay this way?", Tia throws her tantrums at me and it triggers something within.

"What the fuck did you say, Tia?", I question. "Nivi, we'll call you later. I'll talk to her", Maa intervenes in an attempt to calm me down.

"No, Maa. I'll talk to her. If she's old enough to talk to me this way, let her deal with me. Did you call me selfish, Tia? I've dedicated my entire life to the four of you and that's the best you can come up with? I couldn't pursue my higher studies; I never had the time to hangout with friends; I could never relax at home and no matter how I feel, I still have to work because there's a family I have to run. No matter how tired I am, I wake up the next morning and work so that we could have enough. Otherwise, I could work simply two days a week, earn enough to fill my stomach and let you find a way to survive! Just because I don't talk about it, it doesn't mean that I'm not struggling. I'm fighting a battle every day and you think I enjoy standing in the battlefield alone? If ungratefulness and tantrums are all you have, stay out of my life", I snap at her.

"And Maa, don't wait for me. Get her married, let her live her best life because the world revolves around her. And she's right - it's not anyone's fault my destiny is rotten", my voice quivers as I utter the words and cut the call, throwing my phone away on the couch.