𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 ☘︎ 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐇𝐚𝐰𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞

𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 ☘︎ 15

"They're not happy with you."

It was two days after the Games had ended. They had fixed Austin and me up immediately and we'd been sent back to the tribute centre. There was only one thing left to do, the Victor's interview. Then we were set to go home.

Anyways, right now, Haymitch and I are on the roof (about the only place in the centre that isn't bugged) and we're talking about those berries.

"Why, because I didn't die?" I asked in an icy tone.

"Because you showed them up," Haymitch says, trying to get through to me.

"Well I'm sorry they didn't manage to end my life, you know that's not something people generally apologise for-"

"Willow!" Haymitch turns round and looks straight at me. I know this is something I can't refute with sarcasm. "This is serious. Not just for you. They don't take these things lightly."

I think about what should've happened in the arena. The Gamemakers should've blown me sky high and left Austin the lone Victor. Surely they're paying the price for this as well. Or Snow will make them pay the price.

"When they ask, you say you couldn't help yourself, that you were so in love with this boy that the thought of not being with him was unimaginable. You'd rather die than not be with him, understand?"

I look down as I nod slowly. "Okay."

I go down to Cinna, who I never thought I would see again. "I guess my bet payed off," he says as I hug him tightly. He's one of the only people I know that I can trust at the moment.

"Any flames tonight?" I ask.

"No," Cinna answers, pulling out a flimsy, yellow dress. I roll my eyes as he continues. "We're trying to make you look vulnerable."

"I'm not vulnerable," I say miserably.

"No," Cinna laughs. "But haven't you learned by now that none of this is real?"

I nod. As Haymitch once told me, it's just a television show. And most of it was made up anyway.

Finally, it's time for the interview. Austin and I get called on, and the first part is just watching our highlights. Then Austin and Ceasar get their little catch up. Then, finally, he asks me some questions.

"How did you feel when you found him by that river?" Ceasar asks. I know this is my moment. If there was any point where I had to solidify my love for Austin with the audience, it's this.

"I felt like the happiest person in the world," I say, looking for Haymitch in the crowd. "I had to patch him up a bit, of course, but now... I couldn't imagine life without him."

Austin smiles warmly at me and grabs my hand. "And what about you, Austin?"

"She saved my life," he says. And suddenly, I can tell this isn't an act for him. He's actually in love.

And this is why Haymitch talked to me, and not him.

Because to him, it's obvious how I feel.

And it's not in love.

"We saved each other," I say, looking endearingly into his eyes.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the star-crossed lovers from District Twelve, this year's Victors of the seventy fourth annual Hunger Games!"

There's also a sitting with Snow, involved as well, in which he gave us our Victor's crowns. I don't really care for the gold that he puts on my head, and I certainly won't be keeping it, but I get a minute to look at the contempt for me in President Snow's snake like eyes.

"Congratulations," he says to me after putting the crown on my head. When he speaks, I smell two things. Blood. And roses.

"Thank you," I say back, the same but of hatred in my voice.

He brushes my hair off my mockingjay. "What a lovely pin."

"Thank you it's from my District," I say, still trying to stare him down.

"They must be very proud of you," is his last words before he moves on to Austin.

Sooner than later, the train is pulling out of the station in the Capitol, heading back to District Twelve. On board, Austin asks me. "So what do we do when we get home?"

"I don't know," I say, not looking at him. I couldn't. "I guess we try to forget."

"I don't wanna forget," he tells me. I wince at the amount of love in his voice.

And the amount of guilt in mine.

I head into the bathroom to wash all the make up off my face. I want to become me again. And once I'm done, I stare at myself in the mirror. My own words on the night before the Games come back to me.

"I wanna be... Willow Hawthorne. The girl who hunts in the woods, trades in the Hob, lives in the Seam, the girl who can hit anything with an axe. The girl who has four siblings and two friends she'd do anything to protect, the girl that I was before the games. Before the reaping."

And now, suddenly, I'm afraid that that girl is gone beyond the point of coming back. I look at myself again, trying to figure out what's going to happen to me.

As I walk back out, Haymitch is there. "You alright, sweetheart? We're nearly home."

"Home," I echo slowly. Is it even home anymore?

When we get to Twelve, everyone's buzzing. We get escorted from the train to the Justice Building, and then a whole crowd from Twelve swarms the stage, cheering and clapping for us.

I notice Prim above everyone else. The look on her face... I wish I could be as happy as that. She's practically glowing as she blows a kiss to me. Then I look down and see that she's sitting on Gale's shoulders. He gives me a sort of nod.

Then I see Rory, who's standing beside Gale and Prim, and I smile to him. He waves to me, and I smile in return.

The rest of my family (my mother, Vick and Posy) are also there, and I feel sorry for them because they don't understand the severity of the situation. They're just happy that I'm home.

I look to Austin, who looks away, and then I realise that my own selfishness is causing him to slip away from me.

And I have to get him back.