𝐀𝐕𝐀

XIX. Letters Addressed To

     Chapter 19, Letters Addressed To
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   " I'm not saying that anything's going to happen but, just having these on the back burner. "

~ Harper's POV ~

   Once my friends left and the sun went down, my mom had left to go get something to eat and then she has to go home to go shower and she'll come again tomorrow.
   When the nurse came in again to ask me if everything is alright, I had asked her if she could bring me paper and pen, she nodded her head and left the room to go search for the paper and pen that I had asked for.

    This would be the first time I spent the night alone in my room, my mom is usually always here or around the hospital doing I have zero idea, but whenever I'm ready to close my eyes, she's always been there even if she wasn't here when I'm finally asleep.
   I didn't do well in the hospital and now I know I'm not doing well because of what I have, the look on Lori-Anne's face when she had heard what I told her, she looked so upset.

  But it was at the moment that I realized that she was going to be stressing over me, all that was on my mind was the fact that I was dying alone at this moment.
  I was taken out of my thoughts when my room door began to open, I looked at who was coming in and smiled as the nurse walked in with the papers and pen that I had asked her for.

    "Here you go hun, if you need me, just press the button."

     I looked at her and nodded before saying goodnight as she walked out, I asked her to keep the light on as well and then began to sit up so that I could start writing.
   Although I knew that I needed to have some hope in getting better, I coughed a little bit and tried clearing my throat although I knew that it wouldn't do much.

 

  Dear Charlie,

     Charlie where do I even begin with you? You're literally an iconic person and you know it, even though I get confused with your sarcastic remarks, I love have you're always there for me.
   I need you to remember all of the good things that we been through, I feel bad for not being there enough for you these past days, but I wanted you to know that all of the things we have ever said to each other were probably the best things I've ever heard.

    When we became best friends, I didn't think that we would click at all because of how different we were at first but when we got to know each other, I knew I had found my missing half, you're like my twin sister.
  
    You can have the bomber jacket that i refused to give you the beginning of the year.

    I love you Charlie, more than you'll ever know.

   I finished writing the letter for Charlie, the papers and pen were made for letters, I wanted to have something to give them before I went, not that I was so sure that I would die early.
   But the way I began feeling weaker, how I can barely carry my own weight, I just know that there's no way that I'll last.

 
  Dear Dylan,

    My chaotic, doctor-like, Dylan..
  I should've told you what was going on, maybe you would have been able to help me but instead I was stubborn and couldn't have been bothered to even tell you how I was feeling.

   But I thank you for always looking out for me and making me feel better, I couldn't have asked for a better best friend, although I beg of you to not take my rings.
   Let me be buried with them, those are my prized possession and if I find out that you took them, I'll haunt you.

   Not really, take them and wear them for as long as you want to, my jewelry is yours now.

    I love you Dylan.

     Dear Sophie,

     My sweet, innocent, sensitive Sophie..
I didn't mean to leave you on your own during this year, having your back is something I have always looked forward to.

    Even though i hated fighting because of the repercussions that I'll get, the look on your face was something I always loved.
   When I told you that you're soon going to be defending yourself from people that are going to be rude to you, soon is now but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to be having your back when I'm gone.

   I'll be there with you every step of the way, you don't need to worry about anything because I'll be looking over you.
   You can have my clothes, I know how much you loved the style.

    I love you more than anything Sophie, remember that.

    Dear Lori-Anne,

      God, you're an insane person did you know that? Everytime you have an idea, your eyes did a little tingle and it would worry the hell out of me, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna follow through with it.
   Thank you for never leaving me, even when I thought that we were going to die earlier, thank you for not letting me die alone Ava.

    Fun fact, I got the nickname Ava from the song Ava by Famy, I know how you loved that song therefore I gave you the nickname.
   I'm glad that you've been my best friend for half of my life.

    You can have my diary, it's under my bed and I've been writing in it since elementary.

    I love you more than life itself Ava, now it's my turn to make sure you don't die alone..

    When I finished writing the letters that were for everyone, I folded them and put them on the table before getting up from the bed and turning the lights off.
   The nurse came in for the last time to check up on me, she asked me what was the letters for and I told her they were goodbye letters in case I don't make it out alive.

    "You might be able to have a miracle Harper, don't give up too early."

   The nurse told me as she hugged me tightly and rubbed my back, I smiled at her.

  " I'm not saying that anything's going to happen but, just having these on the back burner. "

    I told the nurse before telling her goodnight and watching her leave the room.

   That's what I keep telling myself, it's all on the back burner.