Until We Break (Formerly Wicked, Wild, Wonderful)

PROLOGUE

The girls were determined to watch the sun rise. It was Jessica's idea. She desperately wanted to do something that felt normal—an activity that other teenagers often wasted their time on during their long weekends, or days off, or summer holidays. Time at their age was brief and selfish, Jessica had told Naomi. Even briefer was their time away from the Riverside Dance Academy. Before they knew it they'd have to go back into the dance studio in order to bend and twist themselves into shape for their next dance competition. Right now was their only time to feel free. She said it, and to Naomi's ears it already began to sound liberating.

It was why in response Naomi suggested they lie on the carpeted floor tonight instead of on her bed. As she was explaining it to her best friend, Naomi wasn't sure if this was the once-in-a-lifetime type of freedom Jessica had in mind, but the other girl did not hesitate to collapse on the floor. Jessica asked Naomi for the blanket off her bed and Naomi quickly grabbed it for her. Maybe Naomi was onto something after all. She dropped right next to Jessica on the carpet and threw the blanket across their bodies. Comfortable now, she turned on her back to watch her ceiling fan.

"Have you ever seen the sunrises in Riverside?" Jessica asked.

"Well, I've been awake at sunrise but never actually stopped to watch it. Why?"

Jessica tutted. "You have to pause to pay attention to these things, Naomi." She looked over at her. "You're going to love it. It's like a sunset but better. Instead of everything turning black, everything turns into color. For a moment you forget the sky is supposed to be blue. That's how much color you can see."

Naomi turned to look at her and asked, "How often do you watch sunrises?" It was hard to imagine Jessica regularly waking up at that hour just to watch the sun come over the horizon. Usually, she didn't even want to wake up for their
8 a.m. rehearsals.

Shrugging, Jessica answered, "I've only done it once." Naomi raised her eyebrows. "But that one time was enough, you know? Like, I can still remember it. How often do you need to experience something beautiful to know how amazing it is?" They remained on the floor long thereafter. They moved on from talking about sunrises to sunsets, which Jessica insisted were worse in a lot of ways. Sadder was the word she used. Then they talked about Naomi's dad's promotion. The new burger place that was opening downtown. How, perhaps if they weren't homeschooled, their friend group wouldn't be just them in Naomi's bedroom at five in the morning.

Cutting herself off midsentence, Naomi sat up. "Speaking of burgers, I'm hungry. Should I grab us some snacks?"

Jessica leaped up. "I was just about to say that! Do you think there are any leftovers from dinner?"

"Probably. But Mom would say we shouldn't eat pork this early in the morning." Naomi's head fell. She was just about to suggest making a sandwich as an alternative when she looked up and saw Jessica grinning at her. Naomi laughed. "What?"

Jessica pushed her. "So we don't ask her! She's probably gone to sleep by now, anyway!"

Naomi laughed again, her grin matching her best friend's this time. She nodded. "All right, let's do it."

Slowly tiptoeing down the staircase and taking extended, far-reaching steps all the way to the kitchen, Jessica and Naomi gripped each other by the arm, snickering. Naomi tried her hardest to not bust out laughing when Jessica gently opened the fridge and asked if they should grab the tub of potato salad to go.

Now Naomi wasn't sure if wasting was the right word. Maybe other people their age would waste their free time on whatever felt easiest, but being out here did not feel like a waste at all. After all, Naomi was with Jessica, they were holding in laughter (which only made them want to laugh more), and the sun was about to come up. It didn't feel fair to describe such a good thing as if it was something meant to be discarded. Naomi couldn't offer an alternative to describe what they were spending their time doing instead of dancing, but it definitely did not feel like a waste. It felt, actually, like the opposite.