Until We Break (Formerly Wicked, Wild, Wonderful)

Original Edition: Chapter Eight

NAOMI CONTINUED TO PONDER ON ALL THE THINGS SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO. The things that Jessica never wanted her to: what Mr Carson had said to her about grief, what Ben said to her about crying, what happened to Aspen. The thoughts seemed pressing and accompanied by a tsunami of emotions. But Jessica was a strong dam.

If Naomi sat awake at night thinking about it, she insisted on rehearsing. If she thought of it in the shower, she told her that she needed more conditioner. If Naomi Morgan spent so much as a second to dwell, Jessica reminded her of what was really important. NYC, her family and herself and Naomi knew she was right, but it didn't feel like it.

Ben's Equipment store revealed itself as the girls turned the corner. Its lights were still off and the sign read a bright 'closed' but Naomi knew he'd be there. He was always there because the store, illegally, doubled as his official place of residence. When the girls were younger they used to ask him about it but Ben had always shrugged off the fact that he lived in the back room of his Equipment store and said his job was his life, so it made sense for them to be all in one building. Years passed and Jessica and Naomi never questioned him again. Sometimes, Naomi thinks it was because they never really wanted to know the truth.

When they got there, Jessica knocked loudly on the door.

Naomi was mortified. "Why'd you do that? He's probably sleeping."

"Well, we can't wait out here all day. It's freezing," Jessica commented. Naomi was about to reply that she didn't feel cold at all when she heard something odd. "Wait. Do you hear that?"

Swiftly checking her left, then her right Jessica said shakily, "No, you're probably hearing things." And she was right. There was nothing; save for the few footsteps of the Riverside early birds and murmurs from cruising cars on the road. But then there it was again. "It sounds like," her head cocked and she turned around, "me."

Jessica rapped her knuckles against the glass window in the door again. The shop stayed quiet.

"Naomi," Jessica warned.

"That sounds just like me."

"Ignore it." She frantically pounded her fist on the door this time.

"How can I?" Naomi wasn't sure those words were ever fully vocalized but her eyes stayed glued to the road. She looked up and down the street in search for proof she wasn't hearing things when she found it. Then she was convinced that she wasn't just hearing things, she was seeing things too. Coming off of 6th street, bold and untroubled, was herself alongside Jessica.

They were both alive. And laughing. Jessica was walking without a care as she always did and Naomi continued to smile up at her with something unbearable in her eyes. Cemented into spot, Naomi could only gaze. She wasn't sure she ever saw herself smile that. In a few seconds just short of a minute Naomi realized, thanks to the clothes and the conversation, that she was watching a memory. Distant, but certainly something she remembered was playing out right across from her and regretfully, Naomi knew exactly what would happen next.

Fear that felt like haunted fingers squeezed her lips shut and shocked the hair on the back of her neck. It might have happened weeks ago, but it was all still vivid and Naomi was about to see it again. right now. Immediately she understood exactly what Mr Carson had meant.

When Ben opened the door to the slamming, he saw Naomi staring into the road. He followed her gaze. Then she turned around again, eyes wide, knuckles ready to knock. She stopped. She saw him. There were memories floating in the whites of her eyes and Ben knew exactly which ones. He watched them crowd around her irises and climb into her pupils, overcrowding her entire eye into tremors. He wasn't sure what to say, but his lips parted anyway. Ben had always hoped that Jessica was looking down at Naomi with a proud smile and wishes of many blessings. But this...this was something even angels would cry for. Naomi went to turn around again but Ben pulled her into his arms. He didn't have the words, but he didn't need them.