MISSION: Love

+ twenty +

The journey back to where the students and teachers were gathered was so embarrassing. Everyone was whispering and teasing me as I kept my head low. "Okay, everyone! Mind your own business. I will now appoint you into a group of three," the head teacher clapped her hands to gain the attention of everyone.

I sighed in relief when it got the students to stop talking about me. "Park Jay, Lee Heeseung and Park Sunghoon will be in the same group and sleep in the same tent," the teacher called. I glanced at Jay and saw him giving a high five to Sunghoon.

My eyes turned to Sunghoon and saw how he was smiling so brightly. My lips curved into a small smile and I found myself grinning while watching him. When he made eye contact with me, I immediately looked away and acted like I was waiting for my name to be called.

"Hana, you will be with Ahrin and Jihu."

My heart dropped when I heard Jihu's name. One of the teachers gave me a tent and told me to put it up. I was still speechless and searched for the perfect place to put up the tent. I put down my bags and sighed heavily, feeling uncomfortable with Jihu standing near me.

"Hana, can you put it up? I don't know how to build a tent," the said girl chuckled as if it was a quirky thing, not knowing how to build a tent. Ahrin was busy showing something to her, probably talking about boys on social media, leaving me with all the work.

I bit my bottom lip to prevent curse words from coming out and silently placed the tent items. Suddenly, my eyes widened when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "Jihu-yah, are you done building up your tent?" Jay asked in his soft voice.

"Oh, I don't know how to build one. But Hana knows so I don't think I should bother her with the work."

Bother me?

Aren't we a team?

Bold of her to assume I know everything about camping.

I scoffed and felt someone's presence approaching me. There he was, squatting next to me before picking up the manual to read. "Jay, don't you have a group?" I asked, feeling annoyed.

"You're struggling with the instructions. Just accept the help. Or you won't be sleeping in a tent tonight."

I clenched my fists due to frustration and disappointment. I tried to suppress all the tears of resentment and anger. "Can you pass the small hammer?" He said before looking at me. I nodded and picked up the small hammer that was on the ground.

There was a small part of me that was happy and relieved that he helped me. That small part of me felt like I should enjoy the moment of him helping me because that could be the only time he ever talked to me. Because that could only be the time he stood so close to me. But another part of me felt embarrassed and angry that he was confusing my feelings.

When I tried so hard to move on, there he was, acting as if he would come back to me. "Hana, are you listening?" He brought me back to reality. I frowned, "I'm sorry. You were saying?"

"I was talking about the tent. Are you okay? You seem stressed."

"I'm fine, Jay," I snapped and acted like I was squatting down to check the items in my backpack. He thought for a while before asking, "Is it about me?"

"Why would I be stressed about you?"

"I don't know. Lately, you've been cold. Is this because Jihu told me about your feelings?"

I stopped what I was doing before standing up to face him. "It has nothing to do with that."

"Then?"

"Okay! You wanna know why? I saw you both kissing in the science lab the other day. And I kept questioning myself, how can the new girl win your heart when I've been in love with you for three years?"

"Hana–"

"I'm trying my best to move on, Jay. So please just stay away from me! I would really appreciate that. Because if you keep coming to me or stand so close to me. Or even talk to me, it feels like you're stopping me from moving on. You can't be selfish and do that to me. And then the next day, you and Jihu act all sweet in front of me. You can't do that! That's selfish."

"Can we at least be friends?"

His question made me laugh. My eyes were already teary and I closed my eyes to release them. "You will probably feel like I'm being mean. But, no. I don't want to be friends with you. Because it will make me feel like I still have a chance with you when actually, I don't. I would really appreciate it if you just leave me alone. Don't talk to me, don't look at me and don't stand anywhere near me. I deserve someone better and I don't want to be that person who keeps coming back to someone who doesn't have feelings for her."

"You can continue building the tent," was all I said before leaving him. Jihu and Ahrin looked at me with surprised eyes, amazed at how I told them how I felt. I glanced at Sunghoon and saw how he was looking at me with apologetic eyes.

💌

I went to a place a bit far from the campsite. I gasped in awe as I reached a hill with beautiful scenery beneath me. I sat down and hugged my legs close to my chest. I rested my chin on my knees and sobbed alone as I thought about the things I told Jay. Numerous questions were flooding my mind.

Was I too harsh?

Was the yelling unnecessary?

Will it make me pathetic?

Suddenly, there were sounds of twigs being stepped on behind me. I jumped and turned around to see the person. My eyes widened when I saw Sunghoon looking at me with sad eyes.

"Oh, Sunghoon-ah," I breathed out his name, wiping the tears that formed in my eyes. He rushed towards me and pulled me into his embrace. I was surprised and confused about why he was hugging me.

"I thought I should comfort you."

His words made me laugh, "You were worried about me?" I pulled away and sat back down. I patted a spot next to me, motioning for him to sit. He obeyed and admired the scenery, "I can't believe you found this place. It's beautiful."

"I know right? Look at that blue lake!" I pointed at the crystal blue lake down the hill. He chuckled and stayed quiet, feeling the wind brushing against his skin. I glanced at him before asking, "What do you wanna be when you grow up?"

"Haven't thought about it yet."

"Really? Then, why did you enter a science class? I always assume students who join a science class already have an ambition in mind. It's a very hard subject, you know?"

"I don't know. I just joined the class because my name was on it. Didn't want to stress myself by applying for other stream classes. There are a lot of processes you have to do."

"I always assumed you would be an engineer when you grow up later. Because I heard you like physics."

His lips curved into a smile. He looked at me with soft eyes before asking, "What about you? What would you be?"

"A psychologist maybe. A criminal psychologist sounds fun. Everyone assumed I would follow in my mother's footsteps and become a dentist. But treating other people's teeth is not my thing."

"What about me? What career do you think I'm suitable for?"

"Oh, you want me to guess?"

He nodded and hummed in response. I thought for a while, "Since you're in a science class, I'm assuming a doctor? But you're more suitable for a lawyer. You would look handsome in a suit."

He chuckled, "You chose a lawyer just for the looks?"

"Yeah."