glow•° || skz || nonbinary Felix ff

coming out•°

It took them almost a full year to finally give my coming out the greenlight.

Still a bunch of cowards, I guess.

But I'm not complaining.

•°

'You got this, ok? We're here.' Chan gave me a hug.

I was gonna film a coming out video.

The whole room was crowded with staff people and my members, too.

They wouldn't appear in the video, but wanted to stand behind the camera, supporting me.

I originally wanted to do this in a live but the management didn't want to risk that. A video had the advantage that we could do multiple takes.

Though, I already decided for myself that I'd do this once and once only.

I knew exactly what I wanted to say. But, well.

I was freaking out.

Just a little bit.

I was really really really thankful that everyone was here for me.

They all hugged me several times, reassuring me.

Seungmin was the only one who knew what I was going to say.

I had practiced my monologue with him. And he had helped me a lot with the wording and how to convey the message I aimed at clearly.

He hugged me a second longer than usual to whisper in my ear: 'You are going to be amazing. You fought hard for this. You deserve this. Go be free.'

'Stop, if you make me cry again, the make-up artists will murder you.'

I actually felt like crying.

Or throwing up.

Or both.

Simultaneously.

You get the idea.

I closed my eyes.

My head was empty, every thoroughly practiced word vanishing from my mind.

Great.

'Are you ready?' our personal manager asked. 'You look a little pale.'

'I'm alright. I'm gonna do this. I'm not gonna bail.'

I didn't know if I tried to convince him or myself.

He gave me an unsure glance but then patted my shoulder sympathetically.

'Get the cameras ready' he said to the staff.

One of them guided me to the place they wanted me to stand.

I wish I could sit down on a chair or something but that was seen as 'unserious'. Didn't help my nervousness at all.

They adjusted the cameras, fixed my freshly dyed hair one more time, then everything was ready.

'Okay, just pretend you're on a live. That'll make it easier. Maybe. Cameras are on, begin whenever you like.'

I took a deep breath, looked one last time at Chan, Seungmin and the others, who were warmly smiling at me, before finally turning all my attention to the camera.

Another breath.

I shortly nodded to myself, then started.

'Hello, I am Lee Felix from Stray Kids. And this is an official announcement.'

I smiled a little.

'Before we get to the serious part though, I wanted to express my huge gratitude for all of your support. Thanks to you, Stray Kids achieved so many things and we are able to keep doing what we love. Moreover, I'm the happiest I've been for years. That is all thanks to you. We love you, Stay. I love you.'