midnights, charles leclerc

6.

the next formula 1 race was to be held in melbourne, australia. aka, the other side of the world for many, specifically me and my friends living in monaco. we usually travel on the wednesday before the race, but considering the immense time difference and travel time, we decided to fly down on the sunday before the race began. luckily, last weekend there wasn't a race on, so they were all at home, available.

a little sight seeing in australia would be fun anyways, i thought.

we are to fly into sydney despite the race being held in melbourne. we just thought we could do a bit sightseeing and fun touristy things in sydney.

"we can go see the sydney harbour bridge, the opera house, bondi beach and go snorkeling in the great barrier reef. there's so much to do!" adrienne said listing off all the things she saw on trip advisor. "first let's get to our hotel, yeah?" pierre said, wheeling his suitcase off of the plane.

it was around 9pm when we landed and we were all insanely jet-lagged from the time difference so when we get to the hotel we agreed to just go to sleep, instead of go to dinner or anything beforehand. 

we were staying at the shangri-la hotel, which was about a 15 minute drive from the airport. it had great views of the sydney harbour bridge and opera house. 

when the hotel found out that we were staying there they immediately upgraded us to 3 suites. so we all had to share rooms. each room had only one bed but had a sofa so if necessary someone could sleep on the sofa. adrienne suggested that she and charles go together considering they are brother and sister, but charles and i wanted to use this opportunity to set up pierre and alexandria and adrienne and lando. but that then meant that charles and i had to share a room. we have done it before, loads of times, but then there were two beds in the room, not just one.

"charles, what are you doing?" i asked him when i looked over and saw him putting a blanket on the sofa. "i'm sleeping on the couch, remember?" he asked chuckling slightly as if i had forgotten an agreement or something. "charles, no. i am sleeping on the couch, you're the one who has to race in a grand prix in a couple of days. " i tried to reason with him, pushing him towards the king sized bed. "no. i can handle the couch. you know how grouchy you get if you don't have a good sleep." charles said snickering at his own joke as if it were the funniest thing to ever be spoken in history.

 "funny leclerc. you're sleeping on the bed." i say sitting on the couch. "no you are. i am sleeping on the couch." he tried to reason. "well i am already here so you can't." i lie down. "i have an idea. we can just share the bed. it is very big and there is more than enough room for both of us to, you know, have our own space." charles said.

i have read far too many romance books to not think this over. normally, when two people share a bed they always end up intertwined with one another and admit their feelings for each other the next chapter. i can't even think about that happening to me and charles. we are best friends. and we have been since we were toddlers. and we always will be. i can't let something as stupid as sleeping on a bed or a couch come into that. but then again, charles is very stubborn and there will be nothing i can do that will get him to change his mind. 

"alright. but stick to your side leclerc. as children you were a very sweaty sleeper." 

"goodnight best friend." 

something happened. why do i feel like this. because charles said two words, i'm suddenly rethinking all of my life choices. we are best friends, so why am i acting like this. emilia stop it. why is my breathing quickening and my heart racing at excessive paces. why do i feel like i've just failed a test or snuck out and about to be caught. like i have just seen all my friends hanging out together on their instagram stories without me. or when my my middle school crush likes someone else. the sinking feeling of regret and disappointment. the recurring feeling of not being enough for people. not being exactly what people want. that i'm so easily replaceable. i will do anything to not feel this way ever again. this torture.

"goodnight charles." 

i couldn't bring myself to say those two words back to him. why?

best friend.

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