Karna and his Brothers in an Alternate Universe

The first baby step

Even an hour meditating on sleep and begging for sleep to claim him, Karna was wider awake than in his whole life. 

The war would begin in... he glanced at the sky, realized how he'd always had the power to predict sunrise from childhood, but never wondered why... less than two hours. 

He would not fight, however, till Bhisma was commander. So it was not that essential he got rest. 

Arjun, he'd heard, had survived months without sleep during his quest to Indra's domain. He even had a name for that: Gudakesa. Conqueror of sleep.

Stop thinking of Arjun, he commanded his mind.

His mind shot back his mother's words. Please take the first step. We can work it all out. Just take the first step.

Absurd. Preposterous.

Go and apologize to them, Karna, and there need not be a war.

Unthinkable. Unimaginable. Why would he stoop that low?

He could just about hear Bheem's mocking comments and see Arjun's mocking grin.

'Scared of the battlefield, King of Anga? Come begging for mercy to our wife?' they would say.

Karna clenched his fists.

'A woman who sleeps with five men at the same time? You know what she is called? A harlot! A harlot is what she is called!'

His fingers lost the fierceness.

'What difference does it make, if a harlot is wearing clothes or not?'

A hot and paralyzing wave of shame drenched him. 

Carried away by his friend's frenzy, blinded by the opportunity to insult the woman who held him in scorn, the words he had uttered that day...

He had taken care never to dwell on them since the day of the gambling match. Today, his mother had compelled him to think back.

To reflect back.

He did not like what he saw in the mirror.

*****************

Arjun was kneeling on the forest bed, caressing his Gandiva like it was his baby. He attributed too much of his skill to his bow, noted Karna shrewdly. He had got dependent on it.

Maybe the King of Gandhar, that treacherous old man, could do something with that knowledge. Karna had never approved of that man, who had adharma writ all over himself. He had to be tolerated only for Duryodhan's sake. 

 Karna's footstep made Arjun look up.

"Are we to spend the entire night travelling back and forth our camps, King of Anga?" he asked wryly. 

Karna's hackles rose. "You seem to be doing the same."

"I said 'we'," said Arjun innocently.

The innocence seemed to suit him. Must have spent his whole life mastering this demeanour, thought Karna, to win affection from everyone around. Kunti, Bhisma, Drona, Krishna...

It must no doubt work on his older brothers most of all. Yudhishthir, Bheem...

At the first hints of the regret that had now become familiar, Karna froze himself.

"I came with a specific purpose, this time," he said, and went on without giving himself time to double-think. "I apologize for my actions during the gambling match, Arjun--"

Arjun dropped his precious Gandiva in shock.

"--and I would like to apologize to all your brothers, as well, and most of all, to Draupadi."