Tomboy Love Book 4: Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

He's Back In Town..

Tamara's POV: I was sitting on the couch with Zakia. she still wasn't feeling well, we were cuddled up on the couch watching spongebob it wasn't long before she fell asleep in my lap and I stroke her head my poor baby she still sick this is all my fault why did I not see this before.

it is all because of craig he is the reason I have become so distracted and now I can't even tell when my children are not feeling right. the next time I see him we have to talk about this because I am not going to stop worrying. even tayshaun has realised that something is going on and although he is at that age he shouldn't have to see this.

I can already tell that he is worrying about me when he looked at me this morning I could tell by the look on his face. that boy is getting smarter and smarter each day I'm starting to get scared it's not long before he starts asking about his father and I don't think I'm ready to tell him just yet. he is growing up so fast I still can't believe it sometimes I look at him. it feels like just yesterday he was born and I was holding him in my arms my tiny little Tay.

I slowly stroked my baby's headand she has grown up to be such a big girlit feels like she was just born yesterday too. Even Jason I've had him since he was the same age as Tay they all have grown up in front of my eyes and yet I still can't believe it. we used to be so close when they were younger and now it feels either drifting away from me it feels like the same as Craig.

we don't talk as much as we used to I really miss that I don't know where it all went wrongit is partly because of his job he barely see the kids anymore let alone me but I would never tell him to stop doing something he loves and that's because I love him he is my everything and he has always been there for me no matter what he's never giving up on me so I shall never give up on him we are going to sort this through it's just going to take time.

just as I was thinking about Craig I heard the sound of keys at the door when I turn my head to look I could see Craig coming through the front door I couldn't believe my eyes I actually thought I was dreaming when I realised it was him that I wasn't dreaming and soon enough Craig was standing right before me and I staring at him.

Tamara: Craig what are you doing home not that I'm happy to see you I am but I'm just a bit puzzled you never told me you were coming home.

Craig: I don't know for sure myself I texted Tayshaun a few hours ago and told him I might be coming home and he said he'd be here what's wrong with the Zakia why is she not at school?

Tamara: Tayshaun finished school 2 hours ago they finished early due to a teacher being sick in the classroom. him and the boys have gone to the park I have no idea when they get back and kia she has a slight fever she's been burning up all day.

Craig: oh ok. funny I'm surprised you didn't tell me. how long has she been out?

Tamara: she just went. So please don't wake her up yet she's hardly slept all night the fevers been tiring out she will give me the sleep.

Craig: *sits on the arm chair beside her* so have you been baby ?

Tamara: Craig...

Craig:what's wrong what happened are you feeling ok?

Tamara: I want to tell you I'm fine but I'm not what's going on craig what are you not telling me. and don't try to deny I'm really not in the mood for it something is going on and you're not telling me we used to be able to talk for hours on end and now it seems that you don't wanna talk to me at all whenever you're here all you do is spend time with the kids which is what I love more than anything what about me don't i deserve some time with you too you're hiding something from me and you need to tell me because it is messing with my brain I can't help but over think things I'm getting so sidetracked I can't even tell when my kids are hurt I don't even know the Zakia was sick until this morning. and Tayshan he's catching on he puts on a front but I know he's worried about me and he knows something's going on he's not a kid anymore and he's definitely not stupid that's probably why he isn't here right now because he's expecting us to fix things and to be honest we do need to fix things I love the fact that you work and the fact that you have a job that you enjoy I love that but at the same time is becoming between your family it's becoming between me and you I don't like that sometimes when you.. come here I feel like such a stranger in my own home to my own husband. whatever it is don't shut me out please..*looks at Craig with tears in her eyes*

Craig: baby.. its nothing I promise you.. it's just some stress at work and I know it because it comes between me you and the kids but I'm trying to work on that I don't want to be away from you guys in fact I hate it when I am and sometimes I really do feel like I just wanna quit and be with you guys...

Tamara: *interrupts him, trying not to shout* stop it Craig I'm not stupid. it is not work because I would be able to tell I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not but I know you inside and out I know every inch of your body and I know exactly how you work. you are hiding something and it is hurting me and I've been hurting 4 over a week now and my hurting is hurting my babies and hurting my babies is one thing I will not do! so either you tell me what's going on or you can sleep at the record label for the next week! I am not accusing you of cheating on me I just know you're hiding something something to do with both of us, you're trying to protect me from something but I'm not the girl I used to be you have no idea how much it hurts when you hide something from the one you love and you of all people should know when people hide things from me and I find out it makes me wanna do the same. and trust me with all my heart the last thing I wanna do is push you away.. *start crying*

Craig: no.. baby please don't cry ok. don't cry yes I have been hiding something from you Hunny but it's because I'm trying to protect you, that is something i can't always do it, now i can't protect you from the past the least i can do it protect you from the future i have no idea it was eating you up. I'll tell you what it is for once you know, you'll see why I kept it from you and know why I tried to protect you because I have no idea how you react to it.

Tamara: protect me from what what is it you can tell me please tell me.

Craig: Raquan is being released from jail next month and I've heard the first thing he wants to do is see tayshan..the reason I kept this from you is because I knew you would worry you know what kind of father he.. what kind of man he is and I kept it from you because the less you knew the less stress it would give you..