If Only I Were A Marauder

Part 31

Info - dark magic, near death, death wish, depression. Inferi, trauma, zombie like creatures, mouth to mouth, exhaustion, boggart, argument, lying, drowning, cutting, mentions of death, death of all ages

After profuse begging from him I had allowed myself to sleep in the same bed as Regulus, but I couldn't be in his arms, it would just catapult me back into crying so hard I couldn't catch my breath. It was like our whole relationship he'd been sick and he hadn't told me he knew he had so little time left. I hardly slept, drifting in and out of dreams where I sobbed over Regulus's body. Another pang of anger came when I realized something.

"You saw what my boggart was," I whispered to him in the dead of night. I hadn't expected a response, but I heard a sigh.

"Yes," he agreed.

"You decided in that moment, not to tell me the truth, but to fill my head with false hopes of a life together."

"You asked for the version of events I wished would happen, and I gave you my fantasy. Know that it was what I truly want. If you had asked for my realistic answer, I would have told you of my concerns. You have to understand though, it was a vague feeling until Kreacher came back."

"And now?"

"A near surety."

We got up groggily when Regulus's alarm went off. He'd told his parents we were visiting his cousins for the day, and Andromeda had said she'd cover for us. Kreacher was to apparate us as close to the spot as possible. After a much heated debate, Regulus said he should be the one to drink the potion. Why? Because he knew he wouldn't be able to force feed me it if I begged him not too, again he claimed his Will was too weak for it. Yet again, he was in fear that I would come between him and his ability to do good. I was his one weakness.

"I know you're still mad, and hurt, but before we go, can't you just kiss me. I want your lips," he begged and the words "one last time" were left off the end of the sentence.

I approached him and he gently took my face in his hands. His lips faintly pressed against mine, but I deepened the kiss, clutching at his robes. I should've let him make love to me the night before. I should've slept in his arms no matter how hard it would've been. What if I never got the chance again? On our faces, our salty tears mixed together. We both wept into the kiss.

"I love you so much, y/n Pettigrew, thank you for sitting with me on the train," he sighed after pulling away.

"I love you, Regulus Black, thank you for, well, everything," I said quietly.

"It's time to go," he said with a sad smile and offered me his hand.

"Promise," I said as Kreacher took his hand. "Promise you'll at least try to live."

"Oh I'm trying. I want that grey hair and that family with you, I'm going to give it my all," he smiled brightly now. It helped, but I could see the doubt in his expression.

My stomach dropped as we were whirled onto an outcropping of rocks. Sea spray, waves and the wind made it hard to hear.

"This the place Kreach?" Regulus shouted.

"Yes Master!" Came the response. We moved along until the stairs the elf had mentioned came into view. I peered into the cave that was waist high with murky water and I shivered.

"The man who calls himself Lord Voldemort waded through that?" I demanded, trying to imagine the horrific looking, yet prim wizard I'd seen getting himself even the least bit disheveled.

"Carried me on his shoulders, I was too short," Kreacher called, and Regulus picked up the elf. It would've been comical if it wasn't for the situation. I looked at my boy. He was so pretty and so young. He couldn't die. He just couldn't.