Deliverance | Draco Malfoy

Thirteen

tw: This chapter contains mentions of suicidal thoughts or actions, self-harm, and abuse. Read with caution.

"What are you doing?!" The distant voice cut through me like a knife as it ran across the snow from the castle. Busted.

"It's freezing out here! Are you mad?!" My feet stopped in their tracks. The water had only reached my waist— the pitch black water that I wanted to erase any thoughts from my mind and oxygen from my lungs.

But I never made it that far.

Fuck.

My tear stained cheeks were full of a cherry tint from the cold, but they were also flushed from the sickness I felt rising inside of me with reality looming into play. I turned to look at Malfoy, who's malicious face told me he thought I was the craziest motherfucker he had ever met.

"I saw you slipping out of the common room, and I'm far from an idiot!" He shouted at me across the few feet of water that separated us. "Get out of the water." His cold voice ordered. I didn't move an inch. I hardly drew in a breath.

It was possible I was turning hypothermic and going into shock. But I didn't care. Let me go into shock. Let me die. Just get me the fuck out of here.

"Rook, now." He demanded. "I know what's running through your head-"

"How's that, Malfoy? Did you go snooping through it again?" I worked up the courage to yell back at him. His nostrils flared and I could see his anger with me growing. "I don't want to do this anymore! Any of it!" I screamed, the veins in my neck wanting to burst from the tension.

"Too bad!" He growled. "Too fucking bad! You don't get to choose the-"

"I DO GET TO CHOOSE! IT'S MY LIFE! FOR ONCE, I GET TO CHOOSE!" I was furious.

"Good. Be fucking angry. Don't shut it all off and go numb. Feel something. Scream at me! Take it out on me! But you don't get to drown yourself-"

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THAT'S WHAT I WAS DOING!"

"YOU CAN'T SWIM, ROOK!" He threw his hands through the air as he finally matched my tone, his voice cracking slightly from the frustration I had never heard him use. My face fell when the detail slipped off his tongue— something hardly anyone knew.

"You never could! Even when we were kids!" He caught me off guard with his knowledge. "Not everything I know about you is from my stupid mistake! I know plenty about you without surfing through your head! I did it once because I thought it was what was best for you, and it was a mistake I apologized for!" His tone was sharp with undeniable rage. Everything I was currently doing was going against our deal. He composed himself slightly before his voice dropped into a deadly calm.

"Now, get out of the fucking water, because if I have to come in there after you-" He stopped when I started walking towards him. The water rippled around my legs, and I wiped my tears from my cheeks.

Stupid girl. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I couldn't even do this right.

"Everyone always thinks that apologizing to me makes it better." I glared at him for a moment, bending down and snatching my wand from the ground. "Newsflash, dickhead— I have feelings, too! I get hurt all the time because no one thinks their actions against me will have consequences!" I took my anger out on him. His chest was heaving under his jacket from shouting, but his quick breaths still didn't do justice to mine.

You were so close, Rain. Yet, you still fucked up. Again.

"Walk with me." He poked his tongue out over his pale lips to wet them. In a swift motion he had dried my clothes with his wand and tucked it away in his coat.