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Jess tried. He really did. But it came to a point where he could no longer stand Luke's questions. They weren't having a conversation; it was more like Luke asking things, and Jess replying with short answers and no excitement whatsoever. And then they would stay quiet until Luke came up with yet another question.
That's why Jess decided to give the town a second chance. He went outside and began walking around, searching for the perfect place to sit down and read his book. He hated every second of his walk earlier, but he also preferred to walk aimlessly, and be judged by every person that walks past him, than having to continue making small talk with his uncle.
This time the walk had been fine, until he saw her.
Mara.
She was walking in his direction, chatting with a girl as they walked somewhere. She hadn't noticed him yet, so Jess decided to take it as an opportunity to finally look at her, even though his brain was yelling at him to look away and walk in another direction. But Jess Mariano had always been weak when it came to Amara Kirby, reason why, against his better judgment, he continued looking at her.
It was only then that he let himself think about the ways she had changed since he last saw her. She looked the same she did 4 years ago, only older and mature. Less like the little girl Jess once knew like the palm of his hand, and more like a girl who was a complete stranger to him. Her face was slender and she had grown quite tall. (Jess wondered if she was now taller than him.) Her natural curls, which used to be her characteristic look, were currently styling with braids. (He wondered if that her new characteristic look)
Jess let himself wallow over his first best friend as they moved closer to each other. All these years he selfishly hoped that if they ever ran into her, she would still be just like his Mars — even though the Jess she knew was more than gone. He wanted to love her again, and let himself be loved by her. He knew no one would ever make him feel like Amara Kirby once had. He thought of seeing her again so many times, yet he never expected to feel anger towards her. Anger and hatred were never part of his plan.
Things weren't supposed to be like this.
Instead of dwelling on change, Jess let himself think of the things that hadn't changed. Only two things seemed to come to mind; her honey colored eyes, which he had always loved, and the freckles he couldn't see from afar but knew were there because he had memorized them by the age of 8.
Jess was so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed her looking in his direction. Almost. He watched as her eyes moved to where he was standing, noticing how a bright smile immediately grew on her face as she noticed him. Jess used to love her smile; now it made him feel sick.
