cw: suicide
being in the last year of high school, you were expected to know what you wanted to do with your life already
it's one of the many reasons you had fallen depressed, wishing so desperately that your parent's expectations would lower, that your best friends was with you, not knowing what to do either but being content with it
you wished you could go out and have fun, with no worries, sometimes you wished to disappear, into a place no one knew
you were spaced out, thinking of everything wrong going on in your life when you were knocked out of it by a man standing in front of you, you were at a coffee shop, you were going to do your work but unfortunately had been unable to do so, knowing absolutely nothing on the pieces of paper
"may I sit here?" you had no idea who he was, but you just nodded, moving your eyes back to your papers
he introduced himself as chishiya, why he decided to talk to you out of nowhere you had no idea, but he seemed to not want to leave you alone
over the next few weeks, he would always be at that coffee shop, your friendship would grow, you opened up about some of your worries to him, and he listened, he wasn't the type to give out unwanted advice, he was a good listener, if you wanted advice he'd give it
but sometimes, just having someone listen was all you needed
he told about his medical school, your parents always wanted you to be a nurse, so you decided maybe you'd let them have their dream, since you didn't know yours
he would give you details on his work, and you found yourself listening intently, you found what you wanted to do after graduation
but It seems you found out too late, as the day you graduated, your parents hadn't even shown up, only chishiya had, and when you left the building Tokyo had been deserted
forced to partake in dangerous games, you stayed together as much as you could, he would never admit it, but chishiya protected you, in his own ways of course
there were nights where you couldn't sleep after a particularly harsh game, once being forced to choose between a child or a pregnant woman to survive, you couldn't find sleep
everytime your eyes closed you'd see the woman's wide eyes as you pointed at her, her deafening scream as her collar exploded, the wails of the little girl, her blood, the scent, everything
you didn't want to bother chishiya with this, the more games you played the worse it got, but it seemed he always found a way for you to break
"can't sleep?" his voice made you flinch, you hadn't realized he came back from his own game
you shared a room with him at the beach, it was one of the only rooms with two beds, and chishiya didn't trust anyone there, knowing the doors can't be locked he didn't want something to happen to you if you had your own
and you didn't want to be alone in this world
"rough game?"
you just nodded, not having the courage to speak up
he sighed, he was never good at comforting people "you'll forget all about it soon, you can't dwell on things like this, it's apart of life, sometimes harsh choices need to be made in order for your own survival, whatever happened doesn't matter right now"
he went to his own bed, leaving you alone, he had no idea how badly you wished you died in that game, how you wanted the pregnant woman to vote you when she had the chance, how you've been trying to lose these games, and yet you always get out alive somehow
the next stage started, you and chishiya got separated from the others, you were the one who chose to play a hearts game
jack of hearts, you thought, maybe it would work this time
ever since you decided to kill yourself during a game, you had wrote a note for chishiya, keeping it on you everytime you played, if you played withba trusted friend you'd tell them to give it to him if you died, and you hadn't been able to
as the rules were explained, you had a idea, it seemed fairly easy to die in this game, even by mistake, not saying the symbol someone told you, or just not answering
it took just six rounds before you decided you'd do it
you held the paper in your hand nervously, chishiya had a hoodie on, you'd stash it in his pocket and he wouldn't notice
you did it while telling him his symbol, your eyes stayed on his as he entered his cell
he had no idea you wouldn't come out
you gulped down your fear, as the time ticked and got closer and closer to 0, you did nothing
a tear escaped from your eyes, chishiya would be okay, he wasn't the type to let this distract him, he would probably sigh and scold you instead of being sad
various explosions went off that round
chishiya stepped out and stopped by your door, waiting for you to come out
ippei stopped beside him, glancing into the holes in the door, his expression gave it away
your body laid there, your blood scattered on the walls
chishiya hated the way his breath stopped, even for just a second, his face changed, he didn't like admitting it, but you were his best friend, somehow you managed to light his mood, but he never noticed how much pain you were holding, always focused on himself, his own survival
if he talked to you about it, would you have stayed? if he actually tried to comfort you, would he walk out of this building with you?
his hands found their place in his pockets as he walked out, heart heavy, but he felt something in one
he toon it out, it was a piece of paper, as he unfolded it he read it
the front was a smiley face, it told him to carry on, to not worry about you, most importantly, to go back to the real world, even without you, and forget about you
he doubted he could ever forget about you, as you were the only person to light him up when he was down, though he rarely showed it, he wanted to be your friend forever
as he laid, blood oozing out of his wound, the fireworks going off, he declined residency, he just wished you could come with him
the first thing he thought of when he woke up, was you, you had been hanging out together before the meteorite crashed into tokyo, he had to know if you were okay
when the nurse entered his room, he asked "is there a l/n y/n residing in this hospital?"
the nurse's eyes flickered down, a look in her eyes he knew all too well
"miss l/n wasn't fortunate enough to survive the incident, we tried everything we could"
that familiar ache was in his heart, you didn't survive, he wondered, if you hadn't met each other, would you have been in a different part of tokyo during the incident? would you have been in tokyo at all? would you be safe and sound in another place, wishing recovery for the victims?
he would never know, but he did know he would never regret being your friend, he just wished he had more time with you
A/N: I rlly said I'd update twice in a day and then disappeared for 3 days, to be far school started and then I broke my leg
