The Secrets Within Pages

Cruel

A cold hollowness creeps inside me.

I shake my head. "No!" The word wrestles through me. His lifeless body hangs in my arms.

"Don't do this to me." A low, deep sound escapes. "Wake up!" I beg, voice jagged and desperate. "Don't leave me. Please! Fight with me, infuriate me- please just come back to me, Silas." The last part gets lost somewhere in my throat. A howl pushes through me, the sound rumbling everything inside, gutting me.

I cup his face, thumbs softly rubbing where his dimples used to be, the corners of his mouth, always curved in a smirk.

I never realised how cold the world was without him by my side, without his warmth, the fire he'd emit.

The coldness of his absence sinks in.

I deepen the embrace, pressing my lips onto his. Once. Twice.

He's not coming back.

My cries evolve into sobs that shake my body vigorously. I hold onto him, gripping desperately, moving his arms to feel him closer to me, to not feel so cold and alone without him holding me back.

A low, aching lament grows inside me, reverberating on the walls of my sanity. The gates I had built so high to defend myself from all the hurt in the world, crumble to ashes.

Sirens blare, police flocking to us. Blue and red bleed into my vision, everything blurring. I feel someone hook their arms under mine, pulling me away. My arms thrash violently against them, legs kicking as I try to yank myself off and crawl back to him. But they tug me back and pull him away.

A dark storm swells inside, sharpness stabbing at my heart.

The world slows down a little bit.

How we'd been reduced to a body bag and a broken heart, I will never know.

My muscles ease, giving in to fate's callous design.

The devil's tricks are cruel, but crueller are the devils disguised as humans.

~~~

The sound of water droplets as they fall, one after the other, teases me. It's continious dripping has created a little puddle. Palming the cell floor, I shift in my spot. The coldness of the ground seeps into my skin, crawling up my spine. I pull my legs up, wrapping my arms around myself as I hide in the shadows of the corner, eyes following whatever bit of light dares shine through the shafts of the small window.

I rest my head on my knee, staring off into nothingness.

Silence.

Not peace. Not tranquility.

Just an eerie, haunting silence permeating my mind.

The jangle of keys echoes. Someone unlocks the door.

"You have a visitor." A woman announces.

My eyes do not acknowledge anyone.

"Thank you, Officer Sonders." Another woman thanks, voice gentle and worried.

The door closes.

The woman sits.

She observes me for a long time.

"Do you ever wonder what would've happened had you not attended Oxford?"

My eyes flit to my mother's. Exhaustion pinches at her face, sadness lingering all over.

I trail the length of the black bars that seperate us before staring back at nothing.

The unsaid words hang in the air, heavy and thick.