Without Armor

Chapter 6

Vernera tossed and turned in bed, having one of the worst nightmares she had ever experienced. She didn't dream often, but when she did it was never anything positive. She was back in Pekka's basement, wearing a corset so tight it felt like her ribs were beginning to break. She was tied down to a bed, unable to move any of her limbs. Pekka Rollins walked into the room, holding one of her daggers. He began to approach her, calling her every uncomfortable name in the book. He kneeled over her, caressing her cheek as Vernera tried her hardest to break free. His hands began to explore her body, making Vernera want to cry. This was not a first for Vernera, the amount of times Pekka would have his way with her was too many to count. But this time felt different. Vernera felt helpless. She tightly shut her eyes trying to wake herself up. That's when the sound of thunder made her open her eyes, but she was now on a ship. The same slave ship she arrived on when Pekka took her into his care. She was weak and had no money to her name. She began hearing the screams and cries of the other girls on the ship, the men on the boats would abuse them to no end, doing every horrible thing imaginable. Vernera was not a slave, but she had snuck on the ship thinking it was just a cargo boat heading to the Barrel. Vernera tried to get to the deck of the ship, but her dream would not allow this. The boat began filling up with water. She was going to drown. Vernera continued to scream and pound at the wood door that was not budging. Her fists began to bleed from how hard she was punching the door. Still nothing.

Vernera finally jumped out of her sleep and tried to catch her breath. She then noticed that Kaz was leaning against the window next to her bed.

"I tried to wake you, you were screaming in your sleep." Kaz said as he stood up. Vernera had to take a second to ground herself. "Are you ok?" He then asked.

"What's it to you?" Vernera snapped as she sat up in her bed.

"I deserve that." Kaz mumbled. Vernera noticed that he wasn't wearing his gloves.

"How did you even get in here I made sure the door was locked- you know what don't answer that look are you just going to stand in the darkness like a demon or is there a purpose for this late night visit?" Vernera was done putting up with his antics.

"I came here to apologize for-"

"I don't need your worthless apology, what I need is sleep." Vernera interrupted.

"Just let me do this.....please." Vernera could tell that Kaz was trying his hardest to make things right. So she didn't say anything and instead gave him a soft nod to continue. Kaz was battling with his brain on where to begin. Just talk to her you fool. Just tell her what is on your mind. You've been spending hours trying to craft this speech, just say something, anything! Kaz was really struggling, he did not want to show emotion, he was not used to wanting to be close to someone. For a moment he completely forgot that he wasn't even wearing his gloves. I want you Vernera, you make me feel like I am still human, like I have something worth fighting for. Kaz finally sat down on the edge of her bed and took a deep breath.

"I shouldn't have said those things earlier, truth is I really appreciate knowing you always have my back. I know you were just trying to help me." Was all Kaz was able to get out. Vernera moved the the edge of the bed and was now sitting next to him, her long red hair falling in her face.

"Just thank the saints I decided to help you, even though I was very tempted to just leave you there." Vernera joked. Kaz shook his head. "Kaz if not saints, what do you believe in?" She noticed Kaz's expression.

"Myself." Kaz looked down.

"Why am I even surprised?" Vernera stood up and was going to walk out of her room.

"And you." Kaz was able to get out. "And Jesper, Inej, all of my crows." He continued. "But no Saint has ever looked out for me, not like you have." Vernera slowly turned to look at him. "I often take you for granted, and for that I'm sorry." Kaz stood up to meet her.