almost | taylor swift au

chapter 28

The dinner begins and Taylor doesn't think she's ever been so nervous in her entire life. She is presenting herself tonight for the first time as a real artist. That is super scary to her. She's barely able to eat her dinner, but realizes that if she doesn't, then she's going to be hungry onstage, which would be super annoying. So she forces down some chicken and green beans.

Her and Gracie are done eating with a few minutes to spare, so Gracie says with a twinkle in her eye, "Let's go out and spy on all of the guests. See who's who around here."

Taylor gulps. "I don't think I want to know if any of them are your dad's famous clients."

"Relax, the super famous ones don't have the time to be here," Gracie promises Taylor. "I just like looking and trying to figure out what he did on each of them. It's a fun game. After twenty-one years, I can spot a pair of fake boobs from a mile away."

Taylor lets out a little giggle and reluctantly agrees. The two friends slip into the large room where the dinner is taking place. They stand in the corner and scan all of the people as a man speaks up on the stage where they will soon be performing.

Their eyes fall to a group of girls sitting at a table, all looking to be a similar age. "Those girls," Gracie says, "they've all got the exact same nose. And they're certainly not sisters. They've just gotten nose jobs."

Taylor squints to get a better look. Sure enough, Gracie's right. The same noses on all four of the girls. "That's just weird," Taylor shakes her head. "Why would they want that?"

"They think having the perfect nose is going to help them 'make it.' It's stupid," Gracie shakes her head. "I mean, to each their own, I guess. I just... I don't ever want to have to be fake to have a career, you know? I just feel like my lyrics... they're so raw and real. I wouldn't feel like I was accurately representing the lyrics that I write if my body was fake."

Taylor bites her lip. She thinks of all things that she dislikes about herself. She wonders, if she had all of the money in the world to change those things like a famous person does, would she? She's not sure she would. She thinks that she hates the idea of a surgery more than any of her physical qualities.

She also really likes what Gracie said, about wanting to be able to accurately represent her lyrics with the authenticity that she thinks they deserve. She wants to be able to give that genuineness, that legitimacy to any girl just like her who listens to her music. If she ever is lucky enough to have someone choose to listen to her music, she wants them to look and see her. Not a plastic figure on the stage.

So even if she doesn't always love every aspect of herself, she agrees with Gracie. She doesn't want to change herself to fit into the industry. They don't need another piece of a puzzle. They need someone who is willing to embrace the fact that no two humans are alike, and that's really what makes them human.

It isn't long until it's Gracie's turn to take the stage. Which means there is only 40 minutes until it's Taylor's turn. Her stomach is in knots. She finds herself running through her setlist over and over again in her head. She thinks about each and every note, lyric, and chord. She wants so badly to believe in herself, to believe that she's going to be able to do this without crashing and burning.

But that's a really hard thing to convince herself of.

Somehow, Gracie's set seems to last a life time, but simultaneously only the blink of an eye. Before Taylor knows it, she's standing on the side of the stage, watching Gracie speak into the microphone.

"I've had a really great time playing so far for you guys tonight, but I'm going to go and take a break. That means that you all get to hang out with my really great friend Taylor. She's like... stupidly talented, and this is her first show in Los Angeles, so you've all gotta show her so much love, okay? I'll be back in a little bit to play some more stuff, but I hope you all love Taylor as much as I do. I'll see you soon." Gracie gives a little wave, then stands up and walks off of the stage. She immediately walks right up to Taylor, who is trying to calm herself with deep breaths and big sips of iced water. Her guitar hangs on her shoulder and down her back. She is pacing nervously.