Incite Me

Chapter 24

DAY 2 - TUESDAY

I knew that I'll eventually have to tell Anna about my dilemma and her response didn't surprise me at all when I shared my inner battles with her last night.

"I'd choose a man who's better in bed." She snickered, downing a second round of Martini.

"But, Anna, I haven't even slept with them. And I'm not intending to do so any time soon. However, I'll need to choose sooner rather than later. Help me!" I begged, unable to comprehend with her facts. But I believed she'd shed some light on my otherwise dark tunnel of hope.

"Ok, on a serious note, you'll need to weight all pros and cons, only then your choice will make sense to you. Follow your heart, darling!"

I truly wished her advice would make me feel better but it didn't. She hasn't helped me in a sense of decision making and that alone made my Monday evening a tad cloudier. I haven't seen Ian since Sunday night as he was either sleeping or working. Meow was busy with the usual business of chasing something in the garden and I felt completely left out and pushed to the corner. I wanted Dorian to text me, give me a sign that he's still there for me. With me in his thought. But every time I'd glance through the window across the street I'd find his curtains shut and an empty driveway. He might have had to take a break from all of the burden that fell on his shoulders. Perhaps he was staying in a local hotel so he doesn't have to see me or my house every time he's back home from work. I had many questions but most important question in my mind was if we'll ever have the same as we did back when everything looked promising. Will he be so caring after all I've put him through?

Jack, on the other hand, kept texting me and leaving abrupt voicemail messages even if I was deliberately ignoring him. I didn't want to, but it would have felt wrong if I stayed in touch with one man and not the other. A dilemma that'll never leave my side unless I put an end to all of this and either choose one of them or no one at all.

The headache I woke up with didn't abandon me until I had to take aspirin to ease the pain. Perhaps it was from few cocktails I had with Anna or the sleepless night, when tossing and turning wasn't enough any more - I had to get up and go for a walk before I finally fell asleep with my head under the pillow. No doubt, I am making this harder to myself but if Dorian gave me time to think it all through, I must do just that - think!

After a brisk lukewarm shower, I ate my breakfast in silence. The house was dead quiet and my heart nearly jumped out of my ribcage when a loud knock came to the door.

"Who's there?" I asked, clearing my throat and swallowing the last bite of the fruit salad I managed to eat after several days of nervous nausea.

"Jack."

No... Go away, Jack.

"Aren't you going to let me in?" His voice became cold as the shower I had earlier.

Swinging the doors open, I stood unable to look at him. Wearing a dark grey suit and a matching tie, Jack looked ready for the day ahead. His posture, however, indicated a tired collapsing mountain. If I didn't know him better, I would have presumed he was focused but his expression was somewhat readable to his own disappointment.

"What happened?" I asked as soon as I found the courage to look at his sullen face.

"Fuck it!" He exclaimed grimly and cupped my face, locking his gaze onto mine. "I want you, Sam. I can't think about anything else when you're ignoring me."

"Jack, I..." There wasn't enough strength in me to push him away and I gave in.

His lips found mine just as quick as his tongue entwined deep in my mouth. He tasted of spearmint toothpaste and a strong roast coffee. I devoured his kiss in need of more as my head started spinning out of control. Taking a deep breath, I took a step back and freed myself out of his gentle grip.