Learning to Live

Chapter 15

Stefan looked like he'd spent the night in jail. His lip was split, he had a black eye, his hair was a greasy mess, and he looked like he'd lost twenty pounds overnight.

My brothers came out of the kitchen as Sam and I got into the house. Cheddar spotted me from his perch on the living room table and trotted my way, trilling.

I picked him up and hugged him, rubbing my face in his fur to hide the sudden tears that sprung to my eyes. He smelled like home. "Hey, my little orange munchkin. Did you miss me? I bet you did."

I got myself together in time to be engulfed by Scott's big arms.

"Ew. Are you hugging me? That's disgusting," I said. Cheddar slipped from my arms and jumped to the floor. I patted Scott's back.

He pulled back, his eyes haunted. "I'm sorry."

I pinched his side. He stepped back and scowled at me. "Hey!"

"Why are you apologizing? Did you spike my drink?"

He made a face. "No."

"Then don't apologize. Jeez. You'd think I died or something."

He rolled his eyes, pretended to strangle me, then ducked back into the kitchen. I could hear something sizzling.

Stefan loomed in the kitchen's door, shifting on his feet. He opened his mouth.

"If you're going to apologize, don't even bother."

He snapped his mouth shut and huffed. "Are you okay?"

I gave him two thumbs up. "Peachy. If you feel bad, you can make me grilled cheese. Not the disgusting mess you and Lia like."

"Fine."

He went into the kitchen as well. I turned. Sam was so quiet I'd forgotten he was there. He was watching us with a small smile.

"What's that loony smile for?"

"Loony smile?"

"Yep. Are you on drugs?"

He wrapped his arm around my neck, choking me. "Too soon, you brat."

"Hey. I'm recovering! You have to be gentle and caring."

"Recovering, my ass." He let go and pushed me to the stairs. "Go wash up. I'm making lunch."

I gave him a dubious look. "You? Lunch?"

He raised his fist. "Go."

I was halfway up the stairs when he called out. "And don't forget to invite your boyfriend over!"

Ugh. I jogged to my room, feeling my throat close up with every step. I closed myself in my bathroom, stripped and jumped into the shower.

I wanted to shed my skin and grow a new one like a snake. I rubbed and rubbed and rubbed, washing my hair twice and gurgling until I choked on water. If I stayed any longer, my brothers would worry. That was the only reason I got out of the shower.

I wrapped a towel around myself and sat on the toilet seat, staring at the tiled floor. I felt so weird. As if I just borrowed this body.

A tear escaped. I wiped it off, but it was like the drop that spilled the glass. Tears just kept coming. I wrapped my arms around myself and breathed through it. All the fear and the disgust and the anger.

This was ridiculous. I was fine. Nothing bad happened to me. I had my brothers and my friends' support.

But why did I feel so alone?