Drowning

Eight

I don't know why Ben would want to meet up with me. It doesn't make any sense. Why would he choose someone like me? I'm a bullied gay nerd and he's one of the most popular guys at school, but whatever. I walked to the practice room and opened the door, peering inside to see if he was there to meet up.

A wave of anxiety washed over me as Ben looked up from his phone and smirked at me. I made sure to close the door behind me and set my bag down before going over to him. "Hey," I managed to say through nerves.

"Well, hey." Ben hummed in a flirty way and pulled me close by my hips causing me to blush.

I've never had a guy be this interested in me before, it's kind of... exciting. I was about to ask how his morning was but got interrupted with a kiss. I kissed back and blushed as he rubbed my side.

"How was your-" I tried to ask again but he kissed me this time a bit deeper, to the point we were making out. I gave up on trying to start a conversation and kissed back the best I could.

"It was good, I got to see you," Ben said with a hum which caught me off guard. I didn't know how to respond, other than saying thank you which makes me want to facepalm, god I'm so awkward.

I was saved by the bell, "Let's meet up again tomorrow." Ben announced as he gathered his belongings, "Wait a couple of seconds before leaving. I don't want people to see us together." He insisted.

"Oh." I stood there in the middle of the room, not sure what to do with myself.

I get that Ben wasn't ready to come out yet, and I would never want to force him. But can't people think we're friends? On the other hand, I got why he wouldn't want to...He wants to stay popular. After waiting a couple of minutes, I left the practice room. I checked my phone and froze, shit I'm late for the form!

I rushed to the classroom, walked in, and looked down in embarrassment as the teacher glared at me in disappointment.

(TW) my arm itched as it urged me to cut. It seemed to get bad whenever I made a mistake. I'm so pathetic, I couldn't even make it to form on time....

Today felt so long, when I got home I just wanted to hide away under the covers. But once I walked through the door, my mom and dad were standing in the living room waiting for me. Oh great...Could this day get any worse?

"We got a call that you were late from form. Can you tell us why you missed class?" My dad demanded.

I chewed my lip as I was about to explain but remembered that Ben didn't want me to tell anyone about our meet-ups. "I lost track of time talking to Tao." I managed to lie.

I can't believe I used Tao as an excuse, lying to my parents makes me feel like such a bad person. Is this what a relationship is supposed to feel like? I don't even know if Ben and I are a thing!

"You're going to go right to form tomorrow." My mom demanded.

I nodded and walked upstairs with a sigh, I needed to tell Ben I couldn't meet up anymore. Once I checked my phone I saw a message from Ben saying that he couldn't meet up after all. Alright then.

(TW) I glanced over at my bedside table where I kept the blade, about to go over to use it but I looked up as Tori was suddenly at my doorframe.

I felt relieved to see her, I didn't trust myself alone at the moment. I'm grateful for my sister.

"I heard Mom and Dad scolding you. Are you okay Tori asked, worry shining in her eyes. I sat up and looked at her, "No." I finally admitted, fiddling with my blanket.

"Can we hang out? I don't trust myself alone right now." I managed to say, hoping she got what I meant. Tori nodded and instantly sat next to me. I think she got what I meant.

"Want to play Mario Kart?" Tori hummed, grabbing my Nintendo Switch. I smiled for the first time in a while and nodded.

A/N: one more chapter to go!

I hope you guys enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it. I hope it's not too rushed at the end, I'm just losing motivation and want to make the new story idea I had.

I'll work on the last chapter today!! Let me know what you guys thought/think of this story xx