War Dog

Chapter 92

"Mum!" The little girl sobbed, distraught to see Wolf laying so still in the bed. Her cry had caught me off guard and I didn't manage to move quick enough to stop her from climbing up on the bed. I needn't have worried. Lilly climbed up and then lied down next to Wolf being careful of the equipment. She snuggled in crying, leaving me wondering as to when she'd started calling Wolf, mum. Soap stood rigid next to me. "That's new," he muttered and all I could do was nod in response. 

I didn't think he was so tense because of what Lilly had done though. I glance at Soap and my fears are confirmed. This was his first time in here. He'd been avoiding her. 

"She loved you too, you know." My words seem to break him from his trance as he startles, eyes blinking at me like I'd shone a bright light in his face. 

"She told you?"

"She didn't have to. It was in her eyes every time she looked at you. You had her hooked the first moment you had that conversation in the hallway."

Soap frowned, thinking back. "The one you interrupted?"

"Mhhm." I nod slightly in agreement. 

"How do you know?"

"The expression on her face when you couldn't see. Pure mischief as she teased you."

Soaps expression softens, clearly remembering the moment with a rare fondness he hadn't shown recently. "It should have been me... Why did she do it?"

I know what he's talking about, and if I was honest with myself in my heart of hearts I agreed with him. Johnny was my best friend, and yet I'd have preferred Wolf by my side instead of him. Yet, I didn't hold it against him in the slightest. Instead I answered honestly. "She loved you so much she acted out of instinct to save you. I told you once before, she is highly empathic towards those she loves, and will do everything within her power to keep them safe and happy."

"But we're not happy!" he growled.

"And yet, we are safe which was always her primary goal." I clap him on the shoulder. "She would be mad to see the pair of us commiserating in our misery."

Soap snorts then. "She once said she was misery, and I was company."

I shake my head as a grin splits my face, true genuine mirth as I laugh. "I don't think she has ever said a more true thing in her life. She most certainly brings misery upon herself enough. A fucking prophet if I ever met one."

Soap shakes his head, the genuine humour still lingering in his eyes. "Think she'll come back to us, Ghost?"

"I hope so, Johnny, I fuckin' hope so."

We continue to stand in the doorway, watching as Lilly remains snuggled up to Wolf ignoring us. She's talking gently, no doubt telling Wolf about her day to day activities just I had been. I step into the room, the vase of Lilies in my hands brightening the space a little. As I had predicted yesterday, Lilly had been over the moon to find out what Wolfs favourite flowers had been. Were. I find that I have to correct myself with tenses. I found myself slipping into past tense far more than I was comfortable with. 

After a little, I can see the longing in Soaps face, and I pick up Lilly even as she pouts. "Come on Lilly, we need to give Soap some time to spend with Wolf too, ok?"

"Alright Dad," she says. Soaps eyes snap to mine as he hears that, and I know he see's me frozen to the spot, eyes wide as I internally freak out. I swallow hard, the unexpected father title being thrown on me so casually not one I had expected and yet I needed to keep her entertained while Soap spent some time with Wolf. I hoped his voice would help bring her back.

"How about we go watch a movie? Wolf still has her laptop and bed here, we can go watch in her room?"

She brightens up immediately and agrees enthusiastically. On our way out I take the time to calm myself. Wolf would piss herself laughing to find me freaking out over being called dad, and yet here I was. A grown soldier having a fit over a simple word. I pressed the key to the reader opening the one room I had not dared to enter in three months. It smelled so strongly of Wolf that Lilly keened sadly and I felt my own throat close up at the familiar smell. I was already regretting this particular distraction, but Lilly tore herself from my grip and threw herself into the bed. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Can we watch Nightmare before Christmas? Pleeeeasee?" She begged. 

"It's the middle of the year, child. Why are we watching a Christmas movie?" My voice was gruff, but my heart broke. I had to fight the tears that threatened to spill down my face to drench my mask. I knew why. I remembered Soap telling me that night. It was her favourite movie. I grabbed her laptop off the desk and opened it up. She'd left it on charge and when it finally woke up, it was still turned to a movie. I looked at the title. 'Sweeney Todd.' She hadn't been kidding about enjoying the macabre film genre.

"It was mum's favourite show. I want to watch it again."

Again? How many times had she watched it. I decide maybe that was unhealthy for the child, and I remember something else Wolf had said. "How about a different favourite movie? Wolf had a favourite Disney movie... Something that began with an M... Moan... Moanne?" I fumble not remembering it clearly enough, but Lilly seems to know. "Moana?" She asks, brightening. "Ok, lets watch that!" Her voice, so much stronger since we found her locked in a crate is eager and excited. I get the feeling she's seen it before, but anything that Wolf had liked, she wanted. I open Disney plus and bring the laptop to the bed with Moana ready to play. I hand the laptop to Lilly, intending on sitting at the desk brooding. Lilly had other ideas. "Come on dad! There's plenty of room here for you too. Come watch it with me."

I freeze as she calls me dad again, and then I look at her eager little face and then regret my choice in encouraging a Disney movie. I lay down carefully next to her, trying to keep some distance. She doesn't get the memo however and snuggles in next to me like I am a giant teddy bear. I hesitate before wrapping my arms around her protectively and I immediately see why Soap has been spending so much time with her. She was almost exactly a mini- Ceri. When I scratched her ears in the spot Wolf liked so much, I could feel the way her body immediately melted against me was exactly what Wolf would have done. 

We stayed like that until Soap came to find us, and I could at least admit to myself the songs were pretty catchy.