Someone's In My Head (WATTYS AWARD WINNER 2015)

Chapter Thirteen

I've never taken dreams seriously, you know? I mean, just like every sane human being (Cobb and Saito do not count), I understand that dreams are purely manifestations of daily events. I knew that it's what we do during the day that affects our dreamscape, and not the other way round. And yep, I've heard of lucid dreaming, but that's still us controlling our dreams.

But when you are stuck inside your own body, immobilized, and with the weird dream you had just now being your only possible way out, try saying that again. Yeah, I admit that I'm not a real big fan of Inception. Not until now.

The white-haired crooked-nosed old man had told me to find the puzzle in order to get out of this prison. Okay, I get the second part; the word 'prison' epitomizes my current situation―being trapped within my own body with no means to communicate with anybody at all. Which brings me back to the first question: how am I supposed to find the puzzle? Even if I knew what the puzzle was and where it is located, Phil was now in control of my body, and I couldn't even speak to him, not to say get him to go on an Indiana Jones expedition.

Phil was now in a car―a limousine, to be exact―on his way to see his wife. I could still remember Phil's reaction when Lenny first mentioned the next stop on his itinerary.

"My wife? Tanya?" he exclaimed, scrambling to get up. I could hear the unconcealed joy in his voice.

Lenny swiveled his eyes to ogle at Phil dubiously. "How many wives do you have?"

Phil, realizing his mistake, shook his head. "I mean, she's still alive? Where is she now?"

"She is alive, don't you worry. As for where she is, I must tell you that since you died―at least according to what she was informed―she suffered from acute anxiety and depression. The diagnosis was made a few years after your passing." There was regret in Lenny's expression.

I sensed Phil stiffen. Hundreds of thoughts flicked through his mind; sadness, anger, fear, love and finally, remorse. In a trembling voice, he uttered the question that clawed at his heart, half-dreading what the answer might be. "Which hospital?"

Lenny came over and laid a supportive hand on Phil's shoulder. "Chambers' Mental Institute. She had been institutionalized since 2004."

Phil seemed to have difficulty speaking. Naturally, being a war-worn soldier, Phil did not cry. But the emotions that were churning within him was just too great that he sat back down on the bed.

Suddenly, I was seeing her face. Tanya. She was an attractive lady, I must say. Her skin was brown, and strands of curly long dark hair cascaded down her shoulders. What attracted my attention was her oblong face and angular cheekbones that led down to a pointed chin. Her eyes were misty blue, and in it, I saw peace.

The sight of her bothered me. To imagine that a woman this beautiful and peaceful could possibly become depressed so much that she had to be institutionalized―it was saddening, really. It is intriguing, what love does to a person.

Then, multiple visions flitted past my mind. It was rapid and blurry, but after a few of them I started to realize what this was. These were flashes of Phil's memory, and judging by the people in it, it was a catalog of Phil's time with Tanya.

The two of them had met in Stanford, where both of them were pursuing their Engineering degree in the same faculty. After a few dates, Phil found out that Tanya was also from Winona County, Phil's hometown. They were married right after they got their degrees, and both went working in a same company. Their life was sweet enough, almost like a perfect fairy tale story, except for one thing. One flaw.

They had no kids.

For many years, Phil and Tanya had been trying to conceive a child, but all their efforts were in vain. At first, they thought it was Fate in play, but after a few years they began to suspect something. Phil and Tanya went for a screening test, and that was when they received the bad news.