When the Sun and Stars Unite (Jegulus Oneshots)

Muted

Words aren't always necessary, but the important things find a way.

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James' left arm started to tingle, giving off a warning that it would go to sleep if he didn't move soon. However, with Regulus curled into his chest, he wasn't able to bring himself to change positions. Regulus was thinking so loudly that James could practically hear the thoughts wiring in his boyfriend's head. But he would wait like he always did, giving the man time to process everything and get the words just right. In the meantime, James was just enjoying their time together. He breathed in Regulus' scent of freshly mown grass and sleep. It calmed him, felt safe. It smelt of home. Even though they had only been together for a few months, he hoped that he was something like that for Regulus.

It was almost a year ago to the day when James first saw him in the library. He had been sitting on the floor in the How-To section tentatively browsing several books about computers when James nearly ran him over with the returns cart. James had apologized profusely and offered to help the man search, but he had just blushed and shook his head a bit wide-eyed. His shoulders hunched as though he were trying to make himself smaller, less noticeable. James hadn't wanted to make him feel uncomfortable, but from then on out made it a point to at least smile and nod whenever he came into the library.

It didn't bother him that the man never spoke, just grabbed books on how to work a computer, sometimes taking extensive notes in a well-loved spiral-bound journal. The man never deviated from the How-To section; however, James didn't miss the longing looks he gave to the small display of classical poetry on the border of the fiction and non-fiction sections. It took another month before the man had nervously approached him at the circulation desk—index finger quickly tapping against thumb—and handed him the notebook with a short message in the most pristine handwriting James had ever seen.

'Hi, I'm Regulus. I can't speak, but I can hear. The sign said to reserve a computer with a librarian. Will you help me with that? I've never used one before.'

He ended up spending an hour or so over the next few days showing Regulus how to operate a computer. It wasn't uncommon for elderly patrons to ask for help with the computers, but he found it odd that a man who couldn't be more than a few years his junior had never used a computer. However, once he caught a glimpse of the ancient flip phone Regulus used sparingly, James believed him. They struck up a friendship and slowly, ever so slowly, Regulus began to let down his walls.

Even after they got together, Regulus still kept most things close to the chest. They communicated well with Regulus writing and James talking, but they also seemed to possess an innate knowledge of what the other was thinking or feeling, which sometimes made words completely unnecessary.

Finally, Regulus sat up, shoulders set in determination and opened his mouth. No words came out. He huffed out a disgruntled sigh and tried again, the words right there on the tip of his tongue, but he was unable to push them past his lips. James just waited patiently, holding his boyfriend's hand. Although his heart leapt at the thought of Regulus speaking, he didn't expect them to be vocalized. Regulus had only spoken one word in his presence before, a whispered 'James', like a prayer on his lips the night they made love for the first time.

Frustrated, Regulus snatched up the notepad and pen they kept on the coffee table and hastily scrawled out a note before practically shoving it into James' hands.

'How do you look people up online?'

James smiled, not quite sure where this was going. "Facebook, probably. Most people have some form of social media." He paused for a moment before adding gently, "Do you mind if I ask who you're looking for?"

Regulus took the notepad back and seemed to draw a bit in on himself as he carefully wrote out, 'Remember when I told you about my family?'

James couldn't hide the slight flinch at the memory. A month or so into their friendship, Regulus had revealed that he had recently broken with his family and the fundamentalist cult—James' words, not Regulus'—that he had been raised in. His childhood had been rife with abuse that James couldn't even begin to comprehend, and he was so grateful that Regulus was able to get out.

'My older brother was able to escape a few years before me,' Regulus continued, his hand not quite steady. 'He wanted to bring me with him but couldn't. Part of the reason why I learned how to use the computer was so I could maybe find him and either give him a letter or send an email letting him know that I'm out. That I'm okay and don't blame him.'

James felt his heart melt and tugged Regulus to him in a strong embrace. "We'll find him," he breathed into Regulus' hair before pulling back and cupping the man's face, brown eyes boring into grey, "We'll find him, Reg." He quickly grabbed his laptop from its usual place under the sofa and showed Regulus how to navigate Facebook's search function.

Regulus snorted at James' gentle warning that they might have to sift through lots of accounts before finding the one they were looking for since the site was global and there were bound to be other people with the same or similar names. He cocked an eyebrow and levelled James with a look that said, 'You remember that my name is Regulus, right? What makes you think my crazy arse parents named my brother anything less ridiculous?'

James grinned and excused himself to go make some tea in order to give Regulus a bit of privacy. He was just about to add a bit of honey to Regulus' mug when an audible gasp had him rushing back into the room.

"You find him?" he asked, surprised at how quickly Regulus got a result.

Regulus just nodded and passed the laptop over while trying to control his breathing. James sat down beside him, grabbing his hand, grounding him to the here and now. Clicking on the profile picture, James nearly dropped the computer. "Holy shit, I know this guy."

Regulus turned desperate eyes on him, begging for more information.

James swallowed and set the computer down before pulling Regulus back into his arms. "You remember Remus, the head librarian?"

Regulus nodded.

"He's married to..." he gestured back to the picture on the screen. "Do you want me to call him?"

Not even an hour later found Regulus standing in the living room, minutely tapping his thumb and forefinger together, the only outward sign of his nerves. The roar of a motorbike's engine seemed to bring him out of his thoughts enough to accept James' reassuring hand as they opened the door to a just as anxious man, a near twin to Regulus save for much longer hair and a punk rock vibe.

James could feel it as all the tension left Regulus' body and he stepped forward tentatively reaching out to his brother and breathed, "Sirius."

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By adavison on A03