Chenford One shots <3

2) I'm ready.

Trigger warning - Panic attacks

"What are you doing?" He questioned, trying hard not so sound as worried as he was. She rushed off into the bathroom locking the door behind her. "Sorry one second." She yelled through the wooden door separating the two rooms. Her tone of voice still cheery. "Are you okay?" Tim yelled back. "Yep! I'll be out in a second."

Lucy stood in the bathroom, the top of her dress dangling down with the rest as she looked in the mirror. Her face was calm, smiling even. A quiet rustle came from her hand as it rushed around her makeup bag. This was routine for her, she did it to avoid questions not because she was ashamed. She has worked so hard not to be ashamed. Tim's words echoed in her head as she patted concealer over the tattoo inked on her hip. "It was the first day of the rest of your life." Even the voice in her head is comforting knowing it belongs to him. As the voice faded she thought about it again, about why she's covering it up. To avoid questions? But what questions were would Tim ask, he wasn't like the other men who'd questioned her about it before. He knew. And honestly he was one of the many reasons she decided to keep it. A reminder of his words, though she didn't need a man to tell her what to do. Even if she loved him. Did she love him? enough! One problem at a time Lucy. She told herself.

"Luce, are you sure you're alright in there?" His voice more confused than concerned now. She quickly zipped her dress back up and headed out of the bathroom, slipping a condom in her dress pocket as she left. He smiled at her reappearance. Quickly hiding the way he checked her body, this time to make sure she was okay. He didn't know why he did this, it was just automatic. Officer instincts he suspects.

Her body pressed into his as they made it to the bed, his shirt now off. She smirked at the lipstick smudged against his chest. "You should wear that shade more often." She teased. "Maybe I will." He replied instantly, flicking his imaginary long hair back then refocusing his eyes on her. She fiddled with his belt lingering over it just to make him tense. In return he unzipped her dress, struggling to pull it off as the bow he fiddled with earlier gripped her waist. She laughed at his failed attempt before untying it for him, dramatically showing off her muscles before pulling him towards her. His body sent a tingle down her spine. With her mind clear she pulled down her tights and leaned into his chest allowing his fingers to release her sports bra she'd left on from work.

Time had gone at the perfect speed as they savoured their moments together. They laid above the duvet, slightly too sweaty to bury in it for comfort. Instead Lucy buried herself in the crook of Tim's neck drifting off to sleep.

When Tim woke, a little while later, he watched her. You'd think it was creepy but his blue eyes drifted slowly from her face to her chest watching the way she breathed and her eyelashes fluttered. He'd never realised he could miss someone so much when they were right there. So, he lightly kissed her forehead, whispering Good morning into her ear. "Morning." Her voice was steady but you could tell she was smiling without even looking at her. As he watched her brown eyes adjust to the light then focus in on him he began to kiss her body. Softly grazing over her pink filled cheeks down to her feet. But as he reached her hip she tensed. The soft breathing he was adoring only seconds ago held. He pulled away. "Luce." She shook her head covering her face. "What's wrong baby?" She wouldn't answer so instead he searched her once more, the way he did earlier. He realised now it was not a cop instinct but instead one out of love. He followed his line of kisses with his eyes pausing when he reached the answer. Smudged bits of concealer circled the tattoo but other than their pathetic splodges the ink was completely visible. He must've of kissed it, guilt rattled inside him. He should've been more careful.

Her mind was blank, until it wasn't. A minute ago she was watching Tim kiss her body. Thirty seconds ago she saw the concealer had rubbed off. She didn't mind him seeing it, he'd seen it before, she doesn't cover it up normally. But twenty seconds ago she has wished she said something when it was thirty seconds. All of a sudden his lips reached it, she knew exactly where it was. She felt frozen in time. Nobody had ever touched the marking other than herself and Caleb. Even thinking his name made her startle. A thousand thoughts rushed through her, bad ones, good ones. The emotion was too much.

Tim wish he could read her mind, but no matter how hard he tried he knew he would never understand this part of her. The part of her who covered her tattoo. Even she didn't understand this part of herself fully. "Lucy." He broke the silence. "Lucy!" His voice louder the second time. Urging her to do something, what an earth could she do in this moment? She didn't know. "Lucy breathe." She hadn't realised that she was holding her breath but the sharp pain from her chest immediately disappeared as she exhaled. "I'm sorry." Tim stated, not a whisper, it was too sincere to be whispered. He had to make it known. Lucy still couldn't form any words. Her head shook left to right, left to right as Tim's voice repeated. "I'm so sorry." But she wasn't mad, just scared. All of a sudden tears streamed down her face. Her hand reached for Tim who was hovering above her, almost as if he was scared of his body, of it touching hers. But she wanted it. She wanted to feel him. Did he really think it was his fault? Was it her own? She spiralled.

He watched her chest again, her breaths coming quickly now, speeding up at the rate of her tears. He was so focused he hadn't even realised her hand was stretched out towards him. "Oh Lucy." He said pulling her up right. She gasped for air, her breaths still not even. Her mind was faster than her lungs now, she felt almost as if she was being swallowed. He pulled his t-shirt over her, making sure to watch the trigger point from before. She hadn't noticed though, she was lost. Her eyes must've been blurred now from all the tears. He didn't have a tissue, but that wasn't the biggest priority. Instead he twisted around her, making sure he was directly in front of her before speaking. His voice was loud but smooth as it rolled past her. "Lucy, can I have your hand?" She didn't listen, or maybe she couldn't hear him over her own sobs. He unlocked her fingers from eachother and placed one of her hands on his chest. Then he breathed in and out again and again. She didn't move her hand, she was slowly coming back. "Can you copy my breathing please?" She nodded. Her body was so small, he'd only seen her like this from afar. She's had panic attacks before, almost all of his friends have. Being a police officer is stressful. But out of all things he never expected to trigger hers. It pained him to think he was the cause.

Part 2 out of 3! Again thanks for reading. Feel free to comment any requests 💕