He's My Patient

Night One

The apartment had a large open are with a living room kitchen and small dining area and a hallway... down it was a single bathroom with two sinks a shower and a toilet and two bedroom with two door leading into to two different bedroom.

I was staying in my room putting my clothes into the drawers of the dark wardrobe that was set at the end of my new bed. The room was long with plain walls with pieces of art I assume that doctor Crain would think I'd like, which is true. The bed had plain white sheets and a deep emerald green comforter with matching pillows, and a dark wood headboard that made the room seem as if it was pulled out of a catalog in a historical decoration magazine. It was comfortable, next to my bed were two bedside tables that matched the headboard and at the other side of the room was a desk that I had already set up for work. There were two large windows that had long flowing curtains that swayed when the windows were open, the flow of air swirled around the room and it felt like home.

I heard a knock on the door and I turned around, I knew who it was..

"Come in." The door opened and out of the darkness of the hallway James slowly walked in shyly, he looked nervous and unsteady.

"I... I um.. I'm struggling Lexie... it's getting.. h..h....hard." I stopped what I was doing and made my way towards him, I instinctively brought my head up to his face to feel his forehead.. I don't know why. He kept his arms firmly at his side and I could tell he was struggling to stay in the light.

"James. What do you want me to do? What will make you comfortable in a new environment?" He looked down at me, his blue eyes were starting to tear up and the veins in his neck were protruding.

"H...H...Hug m..m.me." I didn't hesitate. I should've but I didn't, I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest to where I could hear his heartbeat. He brought his arms up and rested them gently around me, his hands grabbing my shoulders tightly but still he wasn't aggressive.

"I need to you to stay in control." He was struggling, his breathing was getting heavy.

"Lexie.. I.. I.. I..."

"Do it for me James." I held him tighter praying that James would stay... that he'd stay with me.

His breathing slowed, his grip loosened and I could feel him looking down at me. I brought my head off of his chest and looked up at him, he kept his arms around me only now his hands were on my mid back.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean too." I put my finger on his lips and smiled.

"You don't need to apologise for anything.... You stayed with me James. I'm proud of you, thank you." He brought his head down and rested his head on my forehead, I felt my heart rate increasing and something beginning to form in the bottom of my stomach... and it felt good. Our breathing was heavy... and I could tell he was feeling the same thing I was feeling.

"You're the only person I've been able to stay in the light for." I closed my eyes.. taking it in... being in the moment, with him.

"I'm glad that you're staying with me here in the light." There's so much I want to say to him.. but he's my patient. And I have to keep it professional... but he's the first man that I feel safe with... I firmly believe that he would never hurt me.

"Please stay with me..." I nodded my head yes, he slowly brought his hands up to my neck.. resting his thumbs on my jaw. My arms were still wrapped around him.. I had my arms wrapped under his... my hands gripping the back of his shoulders. I could feel his breath on my face, I was filled with anticipation... please kiss me. Those words just kept repeating in my head, begging and waiting for him to place his lips on mine. And he did, his lips met mine.

His mouth was hot and his lips were soft, and for once in my life I was able to kiss a man without cowering in fear. Without falling to the floor in defeat, I gripped harder into his shoulders and for once I could take in a count for how muscular he was. James was built... despite him being cursed with trauma and psychological disorders. He was easily six foot maybe taller, slender deepset blue eyes... his jaw was sharp and his nose soft button shaped. His lips were soft and the perfect fit for his face, his hair was brown and short along the sides and longer on top. And so many people overlooked him... he was kind, gentle, and empathetic. I was at a loss of words for him, I felt safe in his arms. I knew what I was doing with him was wrong but I couldn't stop... I wanted him as much as he wanted me.

In between our kiss our mouths were parted and James slipped his tongue into my mouth, a small moan escaped my lips. I want this to last forever.. his touch felt like sparks against my skin, and then the doorbell rang and paradise was ripped away. Our lips parted and all we could hear was the echoing of the doorbell and the heavy breathing coming from the both of us, who ever is at the door I want to go away. Please let James stay with me let him be here with me and never leave, but he let go... and it felt like a piece of my heart was ripped from my chest. He stared at me as he backed out of my room and walked back down to his... I stood there with tears in my eyes wanting more but also regretting what we've done... because there isn't coming back from it.

"Doctor Voise! Are you alright!" I turned around to have my back face the door, and I stared to fix my hair up into a messy bun as I called back.

"I'm in my room Henry." Henry being our guard during this experiment, I could hear his footsteps getting closer and closer.

"Are you alright no one responded when I rang the door bell." I turned around to face him still fixing my hair and adjusted my shirt,

"I had my headphones in listening to a podcast, James is probably in his room trying to get used to the new environment." Henry stood there rigidly and watched as a continued to act normal, I could tell that he hated it.

"How are you so calm, you're staying in an apartment with a psycho murderer." That hit a nerve, I clenched my teeth and started towards Henry.

"He is not a psycho murderer... he's a man that has been through hell and back with no help or guidance. If I ever hear those words come out of your mouth again, they will be the last you ever say!" I've never lashed out at anyone before.. I felt bad but at the same time... no one should speak about James that way because what I said was the truth.

"Fine I guess... just thought you should know that Logan is out of Jail." And with that he left..

Logan.

Out of jail.

No.

Oh my god he's out, roaming... he could find another young girl and do the same thing he did to me. I fell to the floor, and I watched as the sun faded from the sky to rest. I didn't want to be alive... the man that had taken my innocence as a young g little girl along with three other little girls was free... he was walking amongst the rest of us.

Why?

I'm scared... what if he found me... and he did it again. What if this time he would actually kill me. I laid on the floor crying... it felt like no time had passed but it had, it was late at night. And when I least expected I heard his voice.

"Lexie... are you awake?" I heard James start to walk into my room, I sat up slightly I was laying on the floor by the right side of my bed.

"James I'm fine." He didn't hesitate.. he came to me and helped me up off the floor, and brought with me to sit on the bed. I was cold and shaking and my mind was blank my eyes were red but I felt safe with him with me.

"Why are you on the floor? What happened?!" I couldn't handle this... I let go.

"James the man the sexually abused me and raped me when I was eight, is out of prison.. he's out and I'm scared that he'll find me. A..and t..that he's gonna kill me James I'm scared." He wasted no time and he held me... his arms were wrapped around me holding me tightly and close to his chest.

"No one will ever touch you like that ever again..." a sentence that will stay with me forever.