| The Jabberbird | THG |

Chapter 12

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slow down, it's a science/ he's been waiting, to bring you down

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Peeta  

I keep my eyes on my too-small grey shoes as the lunch woman spoons hot grain and the latest mystery stew onto their designated sections on my tray. I look up when she hands it to me, trying to smile but seeing a little too much understanding in her expression as she hands me my food. I manage an appreciative nod and turn to find a seat. 

Annie was the one who convinced me to start coming to meals, although in an undertone she informed me that Plutarch's team is getting tired of having to edit my body with their computers to give the illusion of health. I only go for her, because she wanted me to, and I do try to eat, although it all is certain to return to the world as I wake from nightmares that night.

I make a point to come here late, after the bulk of people are gone. But usually Annie comes with me, now devoted to her job of watching over me, although I don't mind. But today she is in the hospital, and has been for days, last week she had a breakdown about Finnick, I wasn't there, but it must have been bad or she wouldn't have been in there so long. I'm not worried though, I visited, she's definitely shaken but seems OK. Her absence mostly just brings to my attention how lonely I truly am here. I'm still lonely when I'm with Annie, since Katniss I've always felt that way when she's not there. But having someone else dulls it, makes you push it to the back of your mind, and now all my mind can think of is how she isn't with me.

The canteen is pretty much empty, but for a few stragglers I don't know. I walk over to an empty table and sit down, placing my tray on the concrete bench in front of me, and try to force down as much food as possible. I don't look around, don't move but for my hand and the laboured chewing of my mouth, so when the door to the lunchroom opens, I don't notice the person come in and take their food until they sit down loudly. Gale.

He's not on my table but he has positioned himself so he's distanced from me but can still see me perfectly. I glance up at the noise, meeting his eyes but briefly before turning back to my stew. I have no major problem with Gale. He's obviously in love with Katniss, but my concern for this has long since faded with age. I always knew, as did everyone who saw them together, but Katniss never did, she sees more than most people, but is still so blind. I'm only jealous that they spent so much time together. Years I did not have, and time I did no use.

I realise I've been chewing the same piece of meat since I put my tray down, and decide to withdraw my attempts at ingestion for today. I deposit my food and start to walk from the room, as I begin to move someone blocks my way
"'cuse me" I mumble, until I hear a voice that makes me look up

"Sit with me" says Gale, and I look up, his hair has grown long, as if he hasn't bothered to cut it, and his eyes are troubled, although when they look at me I see ill-masked contempt.

"Sorry, I've just finished" I say, not unkindly, but with a tone that says I want to be alone.

"Sit with me" He repeats

I refrain from rolling my eyes and move impatiently over to a table

"Yes?" I say, after he follows me

"I think you should leave"

"What-" I start

"I don't think you're helping, and I think you should leave, or stop, or something" He cuts me off