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it's getting hard to be someone but it all works out
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Peeta
"-completely disregarding the fact that our resources may be put to more important uses, you know how long it's going to take to get through the capitol's system again? Of course you don't, you just rushed in and thought only of yourself. We had been saving that, we had known a loophole in the capitol's television system and we were waiting for the opportune moment. Now they know what we know, and have tightened their defences!" Coin takes a deep breath, I can see the veins popping in her forehead, can see the sheen of sweat dancing on her face but I still can't sympathize with her. None of what she said can penetrate the waves of relief and happiness crashing in my brain. No matter what she does, we got through to her.
"And don't think I'm forgetting about you Beetee, if it wasn't for your technical importance I would have expelled you from District Thirteen immediately. Unlike Peeta here, who you should have known not to listen to in his current psychological condition, you knew the risk. You knew what it would cost us. What it would cost the rebellion. But you let him on air. For a brief sentimental-can you please stop smiling!" she glares at me, but I can't.
"No. You can say whatever you like, but she heard us, we got through to her. If anything you're wrong, this will fuel the rebellion, even the capitol might be getting uneasy, they just saw their girl on fire let all her fear out live on screen. And saw that I'm alive, that some force, unknown to them, is sheltering me. 'star crossed lovers' remember?" When she doesn't reply I give a sigh and shrug my shoulders, there's no getting through to these people. I turn on my heel and march from the room, with a purposefulness that outshines the fact that I don't know where I'm going.
I've been avoiding Gale. At least I think I have. I know I should have mentioned it to Plutarch, how I'm concerned for his sanity. But am I really in a position to? Considering I sleep under the bed? It feels too much like blabbing to a teacher. And when the time comes for it, I might be able to talk to him rationally. I could draw on his love for Katniss, however painful, and it might just bring him back to the surface. I've almost settled on looking for him, when a scream breaks me from my thoughts. My wonderings have led me to the hospital hallway, and to my left, visible through an open door, is Johanna.
She's yelling and struggling against doctors, who are fighting to get her into the bed. One of them takes out a syringe to sedate her and she thrashes, clearly terrified. And it's this, this rare show of fear from someone so closed, so hidden behind masks of arrogance and coldness that makes me spring forward and knock the syringe out of their hand.
"Stop! You're not helping!" I say. They all whip around and stare at me, wide eyed, breathing hard and fast.
"And she's not going to stop fighting" I add, with a look at Johanna. She's looking at me, not with gratitude, but not hate either, and I take this as a good sign and straighten up importantly, turning to the others.
"I believe long-term patients are allowed visitors" I say pointedly at the doctors. They start to object, but I cut them off:
"Or are we not subject to the rights of District 13?" I raise my eyebrows, showing I'm giving them a chance to be friendly, but the question hits home with them, as I knew it would, and they scamper off, muttering. President Coin made it clear when we came here that we were to be treated as equals. And Coin has respect here that the mayor in District Twelve never had. They would never cross her.
Johanna scoffs and sits on the bed, her back against the wall
"Sometimes I wish they took me to the capitol" she says, and i feel myself tense. She must have seen the hurt flash across my face, her face changes into a burst of realisation.
"Arrrrgh, I'm stupid" she knuckles her eyes
"No" I say weakly
"Saying that when she's there? Hell I am" there's a pause.
"Thank you, by the way" I say slowly, lifting my eyes to her face. She lowers her hands and knits her eyebrows.
"For what?"
"Trying to save Katniss. I know I know, it was for the rebellion. But the rebellion didn't try, you did. You're a good person, Johanna. You're tough and brutally honest, but a bad person wouldn't have tried, you didn't even like Katniss but you tried to save her, even though I was the one to be saved. And I am so, so thankful" I grip the end of her bed, my knuckles turning white.
"You don't need to thank me for that, I didn't even save her" She says quietly, tucking her hair behind both her ears
"Yes, I do. I believe in intentions, see. And I would be just as thankful if you had saved her, and so would she, although she wouldn't admit it. Trying and succeeding are not far apart, and they take the same amount of effort. Just-" I grip the bed harder, my hard shaking "Thank you" I look into her eyes, and she nods. I sit down on the end of the bed.
"You are so disgustingly in love" She says. She gives a small laugh, shaking the bed. I smile with her, and soon we're both laughing like crazy, clutching our stomachs. And with every exhale it's as if we're trying to push the sadness away, laugh away the pain. And for a second. It works.
A/N- 14 chapters in something should probably happen soon
and is anyone else dying because of this gif of Peeta? It makes me wanna *scrunches up fists and screams*
Lyric-Strawberry fields-The Beatles
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| The Jabberbird | THG |
FanfictionCoin got what she wanted, Peeta was lifted from the Arena, safe in the arms of the rebels desperately trying to use him for their cause. But Katniss was taken, lowered into the capitol's dungeons, with no idea of the war that has started around her...
