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Chapter 41 - Addie Kessler

CHAPTER 41

CARLY

They gave me an epidural and for a moment I was completely at peace. I couldn't feel anything, not even when the contractions were at their worst. John was standing next to me, holding my hand, and in that moment I knew everything would be alright. We'd made it through a lot in the nine months since we'd started dating and we'd get through this too... together.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too babe, you're doin' great," John said encouragingly.

There was another contraction, a long one this time around. I let out a sound halfway between a cry and a gasp. They were so close together now and I was beginning to feel the need to push.

"Alright, Carly," Dr. Nesbitt said. From my position, feet propped up in the stirrups, I could only see the top of her head. "On three you're goin' to push for me okay? One big push," she instructed.

John glanced between my legs and his face went starch white. If I wasn't so terrified I would've found the scene hilarious.

"I can see the head," he said as another contraction ripped through me. I needed to push. I squeezed his hand so hard, but he didn't even wince. "She's got a full head of hair," he grinned.

"Alright, Carly... one... two... three... Give me one big push!" Sally ordered and I did as she told me, screaming through the pain.

"You're doin' so good baby," John was saying, but I wasn't hearing him anymore.

"Just one more push, Carly," Dr. Nesbitt said.

I felt completely drained of energy but still I gave one final push.

Then... silence.

"She's not cryin'," John said.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

"Just a second," Dr. Nesbitt whispered as our baby girl was whisked away from us before we had a chance to get a proper look at her, or to hold her in our arms. The doctors and nurses were surrounding her and John moved over to try and get a better look. I wanted to collapse in the bed, completely drained, but my body wouldn't let me. I was on red alert. What the hell was going on with my baby?

Seconds ticked by: two or three at most, but as far as I was concerned it might as well have been hours.

Sally Nesbitt was ordering one of the nurses to do something; medical jargon that I didn't understand was being thrown around; there was some more murmuring; John was trying to look over the heads of the medical staff... Then, just like that, Addie started to wail, the sound probably heard throughout the entire maternity ward.

I started to cry again.

"Oh my God, she's okay," I whispered, relief washing over me.

John was half-laughing, half-crying when he came back to me.

"She's so small," he said, wiping at the tears streaming down his face. "She's so small," he whispered.

They weighed her, got her cleaned up and wrapped her in a blanket. Everything was happening so fast.

"We have to get her to the NICU as quickly as possible," Dr. Nesbitt said.

I gasped when she was placed in my arms. John was right; she was the tiniest little thing and I was so afraid I'd break her.