Love And Sarcasm [Currently Editing]

21. | king of imitations

audrey | justin

『3:22pm』

•••

"What's up, dude?"

"Dude?"

"That's your new name from me."

"I'd much rather prefer asshole."

"At least you admit you're one."

"I'm only one for you babe."

"I hate this new you."

"Its not a new me, just a hibernating me who is slowly waking up from its slumber."

"Impressive "

"Is it?"

"No."

"Then why did you say it?"

"Just because."

"Just because isn't a reason."

"It is to me"

"Crazy compulsive cocky girl!"

"Impressive use of alliteration but can I ask why I'm being called that?"

"You can't."

"And I'm still going to ask."

"I won't answer you."

"Fine by me, I'll ask some other guy I know."

"Oh no you won't."

"Why? Jealous?"

"Stop bluffing."

"Then why can't I ask other guys?"

"Because you just can't"

"That is just a great explanation."

"Thank you."

"Why am I a 'crazy compulsive cocky girl?"

"To be honest, I really just wanted to say that."

"Okaaay. . ."

"Don't speak to me like that."

"I can speak to you however I want."

"Respect your elders young lady!"

"I hate to break it to you grandpa, but you're only a year older than me."

"I lied about my age."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. . ."

"Then how old are you?"

"I'm twenty-one."

"That's nice."

"I'm being honest!"

"Right, okay."

"You don't believe me?"

". . ."

"Why would I lie about my age?"

"I don't know, why don't you tell me."

". . .I don't have to answer you question so respect your elders."

"Whatever you say grandpa."

"So I finally found some valuable information."

"Which is?"

"Your brother."

"What about him?"

"He is a baseball captain and chairman of the debate team, he currently broke up with his girlfriend Natasha Andrews and is free on the market. He is 6'3 in height and hates carrots, favorite color is Aqua blue and his favorite food is pizza. He has a 5'0 GPA and is very smart."

"Are you a stalker or something? How come you know so much about him?"

"I asked a few fangirls of him and got much more information than intended."

"Of course, I forgot he had fangirls following him like lost puppies."

"'He's so hot! I mean like, who wouldn't like a hot specimen like him? Like Omigosh!"

[Audrey snorts, shaking her head. Justin is such a dork. He really was terrible at imitations.]

"That's so true, but what did I say about imitating other people? You're not good at it."

"Oh come on petal! You have to admit that I have improved."

"Okay, okay you have."

"--- I'm serious, I really have---wait, you agree with me?"

"No."

"I knew I misheard it but whatever, I'm soon going to be King of imitations!"

"Are you dreaming?"

"No, but, do you want to be in my dreams?"

"Smooth."

"Thank you."

" You're hopeless"

"Hopeless for you babe."

"And he is back!"

"You don't like me like this."

"I don't."

"Well build a bridge and get over it."

". . .Is that the only thing you know about my brother? Have you met him?"

"I passed him in the hallway."

"You should introduce yourself to him and tell him you know me."

"Sure and let me dig up my own grave while I'm at it?"

"You're right, he'd kill you with his baseball bat. You should still go."

"Thanks for the encouragement petal."

"No problem Justin, I'm just making your death year a bit earlier."

"Aren't you just the sweetest."

"I try."

"You're just-- um, duty calls call you later sweetheart."

"Okay bye Justin"

"Don't miss me too much babe."

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ɴᴇᴡ ᴇᴅɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ

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BTW: Justin isn't really twenty-one, he was just joking. He is eighteen and this is not an age-gap story.  

Justin is eighteen, Audrey is seventeen (I'd just like to clarify this for the millionth time)