Chapter 31

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{edited/rewritten}

do you even know you changed?

and now you're my favorite sin

___

It's been two weeks and I would like to believe that I am getting better and that I'm finally getting over Carter and what he has done to me. However, nights like these make me rethink that. Chance and I just got back from a date, one of many since I left the hospital last week. We're laying in our bed and we're kissing. There's nothing wrong with that. He's my mate and I'm allowed to kiss him. I keep letting Carter get the best of me. When will I stop him from controlling my life?

So, when Chance started letting his hands wander, I jerked back. Flashbacks of the things Carter did to me played before my eyes like a movie. Every painful thing he had done to my body flashed before me in seconds and I pulled away from Chance.

1, 2, 3, breathe

He's not Carter

I closed my eyes, trying to keep my breathing under control and not let Chance see that I'm currently freaking out. How can I move on when every time Chance touches me, I feel Carter's hands?

4,5,6, breathe, he's not Carter

I opened my eyes and saw Chance's eyes flash from blue to yellow. He was fighting control over his wolf. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. I sat up in the bed, pulling my shirt down. Tears were pricking at my eyes. How much longer could Chance deal with this? How much longer will he put up with me? When will he finally break and leave me?

"I'm sorry." I said, reaching out to touch his arm but this time, he was the one to pull away.

So, this is what it feels like?

"It's fine, Bailey. Just go to sleep, okay?"

Chance grabbed a pillow from our bed and a blanket from the closet. He went for the bedroom door and I called out to hi, stopping him in his tracks. His back was towards me and I watched him tense up. "Where are you going?"

Without turning around, Chance mumbled back. "I'm sleeping on the couch. Just go to bed."

Chance walked out of the room and away from me. The door slammed shut behind him and I'm pretty sure my heart broke with the noise.

He's not Carter

***


I woke up in bed with a gasp, my body drenched in sweat. I went to touch the spot next to me, for some comfort, but the spot was cold beside me.

I looked to the clock next to me and saw it was almost four in the morning. Every night I wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare. When will everything go back to normal? When will I get a good nights sleep?

Grabbing the comforter from the bed, I wrapped it around me and slowly walked downstairs. The only light guiding me was from the kitchen. When I made it to the living room, my heart sped up. Chance was laying on the couch, his legs hanging off the end and his mouth wide open. A blanket was draped around him and he look really uncomfortable.

I walked over to the couch and peeled away the blanket that was on him and threw it on the ground. I laid down on top of Chance, my head resting on his beating heart, our legs intertwining, and then draped the blanket over us. His arms automatically wrapped around my body and pulled me closer to him. I snuggled closer and breathed in his scent.

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