Lorien Loves Stohn

Pure And Utter Bliss

It's about 7:45 in the morning when I force myself out of bed... out of John's bed. Holy crap I just did that. Now to get out before he wakes up.

I grab my various articles of clothing strewn about the room, slip into them and slide out the door as quietly as possible. It's outside in the hallway that I become aware of a certain aspect of the plan that I forgot.

"Oh, god, uh, Bernie Kosar... good morning?" He's glowing red. Crap. That seems to mean angry.

WHAT are you THINKING?!

"I swear I didn't- we were both drunk and things got out of hand."

So you SLEEP with him?!

"I-" No excuse comes to mind, so I just rub the back of my neck, waiting for him to let me off the hook. But BK just keeps staring at me. "Sorry." I mumble, not meaning it in the slightest. Last night was the best night of my life! "You might be mad, but John won't remember anything!"

That makes it WORSE. That practically counts as rape, Nine!

"John was begging me! I swear to God he-"

If he is in a state where he is not able to make decisions, you should have known better and stayed away!

"Sorry." I dodge around him and slowly walk to my room. I know I should feel guilty, but I'm riding on a wave of bliss.

***

When I hear the retching from upstairs, I know John's awake. I knock on the bathroom door before entering. "Ugh, dude you know how to stink a place up!" I open the window. "I'll get the healing stone."

John's puking stops for a moment. He pinches his nose. "Wait. Before you leave."

"Mmhmm?"

"Why the hell was I naked when I woke up?"

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. "Uh, how should I know? I dragged you back from the club last night and you were all sorts of crazy. You had like... like fucking EIGHTEEN shots of vodka... that's not safe, Johnathan."

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. Get the freaking healing stone and-" He retches again.

***

I didn't really want to stick around John after he got healed in case he remembered something. So, I plopped myself in Sandor's office to work some things out. Things meaning "Who the Hell Is This Sarah Hart Girl?"

I hate myself for stealing her guy, but... well.. I love him. I know it. I'll never say it, not ever, but deep down I know it's true.

I've finally found a website called "Strangers In Paradise", that seems to be run by Sarah, when John strides into the room. I hurriedly start to close the tabs but end up clicking on a picture of the man himself. Goddammit. Of course this happened.

"Uh..." John puts his hand under his chin and squints. "Why are you.... Hey! That's Sarah's website!" He zooms into the rolling chair next to me and scours the page.

"You aren't creeped out that I was looking at it?" I ask in disbelief.

"Well of course I am," He replies softly, the glow of the computer in the dark room illuminating his features. "But I need to see if she posted anything since... " John trails off, his eyes suddenly filling with sadness. "Nothing new since the day of the James house fire."

"The what now?" Despite living and fighting an alien war together, I still have a lot to learn about my crushes past.

"Doesn't... doesn't matter. So why were you stalking my girlfriend's website?"

I need to think of an answer. Quickly. I can't just say that I wanted to know who Sarah is, afterall. "I thought I should check in on her because you were so worried. You know, after yesterday..." He may not remember the evening we spent together, but I'm guessing he can remember that break down.

"Nine," John clasps his hands in his lap and gazes down at them. "What happened last night?"

AH FUCK there it is. Nothing to provoke it. I thought I had gotten off the hook. When John looks at me with his those big, sad,beautiful blue eyes, I know that I can't resist telling him the truth.

I swallow hard and mentally prepare for the rejection I'm about to face. "You need to know that we were both drunk. You more so than me. And, uh, you did a few things." I pause, awaiting John to pester me with questions. Instead, he looks down and remains quiet. "You... you kissed me." I decide not to say anything more until John digests this information.

The terrorizing silence sinks in. Once more I find myself in the most awkward position in the world, unable to do anything to make it better. Except this time, I caused it. It is so deathly quiet that when the air conditioning turns on, I think that there's some type of airplane flying into the building. Not that I move. I face the silence head on this time.

"Then what?" John whispers, his voice barely audible.

"We, uh, we slept together." My voice cracks. How embarrassing. I know I should wait but I can't let him think what Bernie Kosar thought. The words come pouring out. "You were asking to, we were both drunk. I take responsibility though. Full responsibility! It's all my fault and I shouldn't have and I know that I messed up our friendship once, and now I messed it up again, and I, and I, shit, I'm sorry. I-"s

"You idiot. I remember everything." His eyes light up to the swirling blue I know and love, and the tips of his lips turns skyward.

A few tears have already fallen out of my eyes. "You- YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

John bursts out laughing. "Well yeah, I mean you called my mom a bitch once, what's one more?"

"YOU KNEW! HOW THE HELL- WHY...?!"

John looks at the computer, pursing his lips. I realize then that Sarah was the reason he held back. "I was sorting some stuff out in my head. I didn't want to say anything before I knew what my exact response to everything should be."

"You bastard!" I say, but I'm giving him my signature smirk. "So, if I may ask, what is your response?" I shift uncomfortably in my seat, once again preparing myself for rejection.

John stands up and moves towards me. I'm expecting him to slap me, maybe kick me, with the threatening gleam in his eye. But instead, in one swift movement, he grabs my shirt, stands me up, and kisses me.

Bliss. That's all I can feel. Pure and utter bliss. The rest of the world melts away when my lips connect with John's. I feel his hands course through my hair and grabbing at me, pulling me closer. I can't say that I refuse. I live in the kiss and relish the moment. I let our lips dance together. It's selfish and unrealistic, but I wish that I could stay here, like this, with John, for all of eternity.

When he pulls away, I just stare at him, trying to decipher the hidden message in every single breath he takes and movement he makes. Of course, there is nothing to figure out. I already know how I feel about him, and now I know how he feels about me.

"Nine, as Six put it one time, you can like more than one person. I love Sarah..." My heart drops. Just when I was getting my hopes up, he decides to crush my very soul. "But I also love you."

Boom. Boom. Boom. Little bombs go off in my head, filling me with joy. "You... you love me?"

"Yes, Stanley,  I love you."

"Well holy crap. I love you, too." I cup my right hand under his chin and kiss him soft and sweetly, full of love. At this time yesterday, I was consoling him about his girlfriend. Now, I think I may be his boyfriend.