The Marauders: Year Four

Memories and Visions

Memories and Visions

Sirius had his wand pressed into Regulus's neck as he lay, sprawled where he'd landed on the steps of Number 12, the stair pushing into his spine... "I'll hex you!"

Walburga crying in her parlor... what a let down Sirius was, how disappointing! A Gryffindor...

Cruciatus curse... screams echoing through the house... Sirius's screams... Regulus could feel the cool of the gobstones he was holding, trying to ignore Sirius's pleas... ignore Walburga's cries, "Cruicio!!!"

Regulus bellowed out and Severus looked away, breaking the spell as Regulus sank to the floor, sitting on the carpet, face red. They sat in silence for a moment while the images sank in. Finally, Severus said, "You need to block your mind off. You need to stop me from seeing this rubbish." His voice was harsh.

"I'm trying to," Regulus said, "You haven't exactly told me how. You've only said I need to do it. Well how do I do it!?"

Severus shook his head, "It changes wizard to wizard. You just have to do it."

"But... but how?"

"Everyone has their own way," Severus answered.

"Well show me one of them at least."

Severus shook his head. "Regulus. Just do it. Block your mind -- one, two --"

"But --!"

"Three! Legilimens!"

Kreacher's eyes... pleading to make Abraxas Malfoy stop torturing him...

Tizzy the House elf, grabbing onto Remus Lupin... the echo of Orion Black's voice... "Avada Kedavra!" ... the little elf turning... putting herself very purposefully in front of her master, Remus.. green sparks struck the little chest... no hesitation... a move that nobody else would ever know... raking the spell intended for Remus Lupin, Tizzy died saving her master's life... the life leaving Tizzy's eyes... like a candle extinguishing.. Bright with light and then.. gone...

Maggie Pettigrew... steel blue eyes, pretty curly hair... waking up... waking up only to be driven mad with the pain of the cruciatus curse... the eye contact... long, lingering... she might've been a million things to Regulus Black, in another lifetime... a friend, perhaps, if he'd met her anywhere else... Voldemort's wand... "CRUCIO!"... screaming, oh loads of terrible screaming ---

And then it was him, Regulus, screaming and he was on his knees, clutching Severus's robes in his fists, tears streaming down his face.

Severus dropped the spell, his eyes averting from Regulus's.

Regulus swept his hands over his eyes. He looked up at Severus, "How do you close your mind?"

Severus was back-to him, staring at the wall. "I imagine a space in my mind that is like a box... and I gather all of the things that I don't wish for him to see, and I put all those things in the box and I shut it up tight and I lock it and put it far in the back of my mind and when I am with him... I don't think of those things, I don't let them cross my mind for even a second because if I do... if I think of them or even of the box... he'll know. And then he can open the box, then he can pry. But if I shut them away, then I can keep him out." Severus drew a deep breath, "You much think of your mind as a slate that can be erased and written upon again. Memories and thoughts are tangible things you can shift about and move."

Regulus took a deep breath and tried to imagine packing up his thoughts, packing them tight and burying them, as Snape had said. He scrunched up his nose with the effort of it... and when he'd finished, he looked up to find Severus had turned back 'round to stare at him, one eyebrow raised. "Are you ready, then?" he asked.