A Crown of Golden Leaves: A Percy Jackson Fanfiction

Caput LXIV: Wherever You Go

"It is not length of life, but depth of life." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Caput LXIV: Wherever You Go

When Annabeth woke, she was unable to sit up because Percy was sleeping on her stomach.

Well, she thought, somewhere between irritated and amused, at least he's sleeping.

She wrinkled her nose at the drool coming out of his mouth and she poked his shoulder to wake him up. Yes, yes, it was sweet and all, but she really didn't like being trapped. Percy breathed in deeply - his shoulders rose and fell, and his elbow dug into her ribs, seriously does he have to sleep on top of me? - and then he blinked up at him. Relief flooded his eyes and he pulled up.

"Annabeth," he said, and just the way he said her name made something inside of her ache. He doesn't know I'm dying... he doesn't realize my time is limited. He doesn't know - Something in his smile dimmed and his gaze fell slightly before it snapped back up. His voice was hesitant as he asked, "How often- how often do you collapse? Like this?"

Her first instinct was to evade - to pretend nothing was wrong with her. If she didn't say anything out loud, it might not be real. But then she forced herself to stop. She was done with the secrets between them. After all, he had told her about his father and mother when she had asked. Maybe she had honorable intentions of not telling him earlier, but she was going to die, and it was his right to know. And this had been affecting their marriage. There was this gulf between them at times, and it was... it was - she didn't like it.

She pushed herself up, and his hands rose like he wanted to help her but had thought better of it. She wanted to smile, but her heart was pounding and her hands were sweating and, oh gods, she really, really didn't want to tell him. She really, really didn't want to die. But she had to tell him, she didn't want to hide this anymore. She didn't want to pretend she was strong when she was so weak and her stupid, stupid, stupid body was failing her.

"Some days are better than others," she forced herself to choke out. He was watching her with those green, green, green eyes that were so strong and so fragile all at once; his soul was still shattered but it was slowly beginning to heal, and gods, she hoped they were both strong enough to handle this. "I... I mean, it's not like I'm collapsing every day or something like that. It's just... sometimes I cough and I feel a little dizzy, you know? Other times I just - I just collapse."

There was this strange shadow creeping into his slowly widening eyes. His shoulders had went stiff. She took his trembling hands, hands which had the blood of men and monsters alike, in her pale, thin hands that gave away how much this sickness had eaten away at her insides. He looked at them and that dark shadow gave the name of terror.

"What's happening to you?" he asked, so softly, and wasn't it how such a powerful voice could be so small at a different time? But maybe that was what made you strong. Perhaps you weren't born with some inner strength, but it was tempered time and time again as you slowly overcame obstacles thrown your way.

"It's a disease that's been attacking my insides, according to Nico. T-they're just going to give out someday."

He went horribly, utterly still. She heard his breath catch in his throat. His green eyes were so round and she saw the horror and terror in his trembling hands. He blinked rapidly even though the telltale gleam of tears were not in his eyes. Yet.

"Oh gods," he breathed, so softly she could barely hear him. His gaze fell. "And I left, while you were dealing with this... Oh gods. I'm such an ass."