Just The Strings (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 55

#JustTheStrings

Kabanata 55

The hardest part with living in the same building with your ex was the probability of bumping into each other... I mean, I tried... so bad. Sinubukan ko talaga na 'wag siyang makasalubong. Ni hindi na nga ako lumalabas, e. Kapag nagugutom ako, puro delivery. Pati grocery ko, delivery na rin. Kapag nauubusan ako ng art materials, thank heavens dahil may delivery na rin ang NBS. Pero may mga pagkakataon talaga na kailangan kong lumabas...

And I was still debating on how I'd sneak out without bumping into Saint when there was a knock on the door. Huminga ako nang malalim. It could be anyone... maybe my parents. I told them I'd go home for the weekend and yet it was already 10 am and I was still here in my unit. But when I peaked in the hole... There he was. In flesh. Saint Iverson Gomez de Liaño was outside my unit.

I didn't know what he was doing outside. But he was insistingly knocking on my door and judging by the scowl on his face, I thought it was something serious.

"What?" I said when I opened the door.

"Did you order food for me?" nakakunot na noong tanong niya.

Napaawang iyong labi ko. Last night, while my conscience was bothering me, I signed up Saint for one of those healthy food thing. It was a daily delivery of food... Hindi kasi maalis sa isip ko iyong sinabi ni Cohen. Kahit na kasi na hindi ko naman kasalanan na nandito si Saint, hindi ko pa rin iyon maalis sa isip ko. The thought of him starving because of me... I couldn't carry that with me. Kaya naman kagabi, nagsign up ako sa HealthyFoodPH at ibinigay iyong address ni Saint. Kumuha ako ng para sa isang buwan. Healthy iyong mga pagkain nila kaya maayos na rin iyon dahil athlete si Saint. Mabuti na lang at tumatanggap sila ng online bank transfer dahil iniiwasan ko ngang lumabas, as much as possible.

"Yes..." mahina kong sagot.

"Why?" mas lalong kunot noong tanong niya.

Itinaas ko iyong tingin ko. Napansin ko na naka-suot siya ng suit. Kumunot din ang noo ko.

"Why are you wearing suit?" I asked. I had known Saint for a while. Isang beses ko pa lang siyang nakikitang naka-suit at iyon ay nung anniversary ng parents niya. And he looked... dapper. He looked sharp. I forced myself to stop staring too much.

'Stop!' I admonished to my gaping inner self. 'No one is allowed to drool over her ex!'

"Practicum," he shortly replied. "Answer my question, Mary. Why did you order a month's worth of food for me?"

He was looking at me... probably hopeful that my action meant something. But it didn't mean anything—at least not what he was hoping it was for. It was just a mere act of kindness. And also, I was close to his family, especially to his brothers. Kahit naman wala na kami ni Saint, may parte pa rin sa akin na concerned sa well-being niya. I couldn't stomach the thought of him starving himself.

"I heard you left home and your parents aren't giving you any money," I said. "I know you did that for me. I didn't want my conscience to bother me." I said this as coldly as I could muster. I didn't want him putting any colors in my act. It was black and white. We're done. I did a kind deed. That was it.

When pain crossed his eyes, I ignored it. I shouldn't give in just because he was hurt by the truth. He wouldn't be able to get a grasp of reality if I'd feed him false hopes.

"Consider that as a gift," I said.

He looked at me, clenching his jaw. "What happened to you?"

I pursed my lips. This was why I tried my hardest to avoid him. I didn't want to open old wounds. I didn't want to visit old memories. We were happy... he was once the person who made me smile... I didn't want to taint our memories anymore.