Kabanata 58

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#JustTheStrings

Kabanata 58

When Saint left, naiwan ako doon. Paulit-ulit na naririnig ko iyong mga sinabi niya. And it was painful. And I shouldn't even feel this way. It was his decision. He made the decision himself. But I knew that it wasn't what he wanted... Not a chance. He shouldn't just let go of his passion that easily. And it was bothering me because even though he wouldn't tell it to me, I played a part. Kung bakit bigla niyang bibitawan ang isang bagay na mahal niya.

This thought bothered me hanggang sa makauwi ako sa bahay. I couldn't function properly. Kahit subukan kong magbasa ng libro o kaya naman ay magpaint, doon at doon pa rin ako bumabagsak. It was a futile attempt to redirect my thoughts. And when night came, my phone vibrated.

From: Parker Palma

Dinner with me?

I sighed. It wasn't like I had better things to do... And besides, a promise is a promise. I told him I'd do anything and I'd cheer for him. Kaya naman nagreply ako sa kanya na magkita kami pero sinabi niya na susunduin niya ako. Pumayag na ako since hindi pa rin naman ako nagda-drive. Maybe this weekend... or magpapaturo na lang ako sa driver namin. Ayoko na kasing abalahin si Parker. He's so busy—maybe busy was an understatement. Nalulula kasi ako palagi sa mga binabasa niya. Parang human rights violation sa dami.

I settled for a yellow knee-length dress. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung saan kami pupunta. Though I hoped that it wasn't anything fancy. This wasn't a date. This was just dinner... between two friends. I hoped it was clear with him.

The receptionist called me when Parker arrived. I told her that I'd come down. Ayoko rin kasi na umakyat pa siya sa unit. Hindi niya nga alam na kapitbahay ko si Saint, e. My parents didn't know. I didn't tell anyone. Hindi naman ako ginugulo ni Saint... contrary to what I initially thought. Akala ko ay guguluhin niya ako at pipilitin na makipagbalikan. But he had been silent. Hindi ko siya madalas makita. O kapag nagkikita kami, we'd just look at each other... and then walk away.

That was probably the hardest part. And I didn't know why I kept on living this way. I could always opt to go home, but I always chose to stay.

"Hi," Parker greeted upon seeing me.

"Why do you look so formal?" I asked him dahil naka-suit and tie pa siya. I felt so dressed down.

"We did a mock trial at class. Hindi pa ako nakakapagpalit, sorry," he apologized. "I have a shirt in the car. Gusto mo bang magpalit ako?"

Natawa ako sa kanya. Why was he getting so worked up? Ako lang naman 'to. "It's fine," I said. "What's for dinner?" I asked as we walked towards the parking lot. I was really hungry. Hindi pa ako nakakakain simula nung nag-usap kami ni Saint. Tss. I shouldn't even be thinking about him.

"So... nanalo ka ba sa mock trial?" I asked him as we were stuck in the middle of the traffic.

He nodded. "Of course," he said, obviously proud of his feat. Nagkwento siya kung tungkol saan iyong case na inilaban niya and I listened with enthusiasm. It was such a joy to see him doing something that he enjoys. Buong panahon na kakilala ko si Parker, lahat ng ginagawa niya ay ginagawa niya lang dahil pinipilit siya. He didn't even enjoy soccer. He just played it because his Uncle used to play it. Tapos pati naudlot na love story ng Tito niya at Mama ko, pinipilit pa siya na ituloy dati. Hindi ko rin siya masisi kung bakit tinutulak niya ako palayo dati... It must have been really frustrating on his part.

But I was happy for him. Masaya na siya sa ginagawa niya. He finally found his happiness.

"Hindi ka ba nalulungkot sa bahay niyo?" I asked.

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