Kasih Nadiah (Nadiah's Love)

Chapter Four: Jitters

Chapter Four: Jitters

Shutting the door close behind her, Nadiah slumped against it. Her heart hammering wildly in her chest. Could it be the man she had seen earlier was Maa'rof? The son of Haji Ali she had been seeking out all this while? With his features in her head, he did bore some sort of resemblance though it was hardly recognisable. It was no wonder she had a strong feeling emerging when she first laid her eyes on him. After she had recovered from the shock earlier, she studied the men for another two minutes before deciding to flee without them seeing her.

 She felt utterly silly to suddenly make a run for it but she just couldn't bear all the conflicting emotions gushing out all at once. She finally slowed down when she was sure she was of safe distance but her feet felt heavy during the entire walk home. Back then a part of her had wanted to go up to him and confront him of his true identity but yet another part of her was afraid of doing so.

After all, when they first ran into each other, he didn't recognise her. He scolded her for a minute mistake that was honest on her part. The look of outrage evident on his face at that moment was unlike him. The Maa'rof she knew was someone who was kind and gentle. Throughout their childhood friendship, never had he raised his voice at her no matter how clumsy or dimwitted she could be at times. Or could it be on that day he was having a bad day and was worn out? After all, he just arrived, right?

She crossed the room and sat down on her bed. It was all wishful thinking to soothe her nerves but then she realised. Something did not quite fit. She could recall vividly the brief look of astonishment on his face when he saw her. Alas it was gone too soon for her to assess what it meant or whether it did happened. But she was sure that she had seen it. And there was something peculiar about the look he had.....Could it be he had recognised her? She shook her head again. No. She refused to succumb to quick conclusions in case she had been misled. But did she see wrongly? Her logical thinking self was starting to be dominant but another part of her would rather refute that she was mistaken.

Their first meeting didn't go as how she had planned. She didn't even know who he is only until she discovered it just now. She thought he would come see her and greet her parents as well but that didn't happen. Surely, isn't that what he should be doing? Then again, they didn't have any special ties. Sure they were childhood friends and knew each other's parents well with his mother being especially fond of her and would always invite her for tea and collect some kuih (delicacies) she had baked whenever they meet in the market. She was treated as though she was their own daughter and would address his mother "Ibu" (Another term for Mother) instead of the usual "Makcik" (Auntie) she was so used to calling other women. It had been a while since she last met his mother probably because she no longer run into her.

Now that she thought of it, she wondered how his mother has been. At Ainum's wedding, she did not get a chance to speak to her as she was busy cooking and helping around. She did recall witnessing his mother cough into her hand as she stirred the stew while Aidah, another village maiden who is of the same age as her, stopped her cutting and went to rub her back. As Nadiah was busy herself then, she did not stop and had forgotten all about her.

Realising this, shame and guilt began to seep in. How could she have forgotten about her Ibu when she had always looked out for her and treated her well and kindly? The recitation of the Azan (Islamic call to prayer) coming from the nearby surau (small mosque) summoning people to prayer brought her back to reality. She heard her father closing and locking their back door downstairs. Glancing out of her window, she was surprised to see that it had gotten dark. The night was already crawling to claim its place. As she got ready for prayer, she made a mental note to pay her Ibu a visit come tomorrow.