𝒍𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒂 ➶ [ s. walsh ]

xviii. | ❝ i might not always be around to protect you. ❞

LOLITA.
xviii. | ❝ i might not always be around to protect you. ❞

✧

"I SHOULDA BEEN THERE, I shoulda stopped him, I-"

"Shane. It's nobody's fault but his. You need to understand that, and stop blaming yourself for something that you can't change."

The dark-haired deputy exhaled heavily through his nose, his eyes falling shut as he tried to control the raging sense of bitterness and self-hatred that crashed through his body in waves. He could feel Cassandra's warm gaze burning into the side of his face from where she lay beside him, curled on her side beneath the soft bed-sheets with tear-stained cheeks and her rosy lips upturned in a full pout.

Minutes went by; the pair hearing nothing but each other's slow, steady breathing, before Shane's dark whorls fluttered open once more. He turned his head and allowed his penetrative gaze to assess her fragile form, then proceeded to reach for her small hand, his calloused fingers caressing her smooth skin in an almost loving embrace.

And then she was crawling into his arms, rolling atop his firm, muscular body and burying her face in the crook of his neck. He reluctantly allowed his hand to slide from hers, instead choosing to knot his digits in her silky auburn curls while running his other palm over her back soothingly, marvelling at the pleasant warmth that her dainty frame seemed to radiate.

"I'm gonna tell you somethin', and you need to listen," Shane began, his low, husky voice breaking the pregnant silence that had previously enveloped them. "It ain't like it was before, Cass. If y'all wanna live.... Hell, if y'all wanna survive, you gotta fight for it. Whether I'm here or not, you need to promise me you'll fight, darlin'."

The doe-eyed beauty lifted her head, her lips merely inches from his as she gazed deep into his chocolate-brown orbs, hanging onto his every word.

"I just...." He hesitated, his Adam's apple bobbing noticeably as he gulped. "I want you to be able to look after yourself. I might not always be around to protect you."

"I know that, Shane. But-" She paused, swallowing the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat, before continuing shakily; "You don't know the things I've done. The sacrifices I've made. I'm more than capable of looking after myself."

A wry smile that didn't quite reach his eyes curled across Shane's chiselled features. "I hate to break it to you, princess, but I wouldn't call what happened today 'looking after yourself'."

"That was different," she told him, leaning her elbows either side of his head as she hovered over him precariously. "Before I met you.... Back in Atlanta, I-" Cassandra furrowed her brows, pausing for a moment before simply laying her head on his chest in defeat, a soft sigh slipping from between her full lips. "Never mind."

Shane's forehead creased as he frowned, rubbing her scalp in soft, circular motions with the rough pads of his fingers. "No. Tell me," he commanded, his voice somewhat hoarse and yet laced with soothing undertones of understanding and concern.

The brown-eyed beauty allowed her fingertips to run up and down the sides of his torso while she deliberated momentarily, focusing on the steady thump of his heart against her cheek and the way his skin fluttered beneath her skilled caress. "I ran," she murmured eventually. "I left my friends for dead. That's how I survived."

Shane's body tensed fleetingly beneath hers. "I never even asked...." he whispered, half to himself. "Hell...."

She lifted her head once more, blinking tearfully as her gaze snagged his. "And I never told you. I'm sorry, I-" Her beautiful, coffee-coloured eyes squeezed themselves shut as an enormous sob wracked her body. "I'm sorry...."

The curly-haired deputy removed his hand from her hair and allowed his thumb to skim across her silken cheek, wiping away the rivulets of tears that were spilling down her face freely. "Shhh, princess. C'mon, it's okay, now. I'm here...." He didn't even hesitate as he pulled her against him possessively, entangling their legs and pressing the softest of kisses against her temple fleetingly.

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