Fat Girl ✔️

Blake's Secret Begins

Sydney and I watched from the lunch line as Bella sat with Ingrid and her friends, talking, laughing, and hugging.

She seemed so happy, and full of life. Gone was the shy bookworm I had met all those years ago, who didn't want to get out of the car to ask for directions, and had to bring a book with her to every occasion. She had been replaced by an outgoing, makeup-wearing girl that I hardly recognized. Part of me wanted to march right over and ask what the hell was going on. I wanted answers. But another part of me was terrified that even if I did go over there, I'd be disappointed with what I got. What if she treated me differently? What if she had become exactly like Ingrid?

"I still can't believe this," Sydney said, shaking her head. She looked over at the group of girls disdainfully.

"I'm sure she'll come around eventually," I said, though I wasn't sure if I believed it. "I know Bella. This might just be a phase."

Sydney didn't look like she believed me, but she didn't say anything. We moved forward in the line slowly. As we approached the trays of food, A group of guys walked past.

Blake, in the middle of his group of friends, smiled and waved at me as they walked past. We hadn't talked since the night of the project. I waved back, my heart jumping. It felt nice to not have to worry for my own well-being every time he walked past.

"So," Sydney said, watching Blake walk past, "What happened last night? Are you two a thing now?"

I snorted. "Absolutely not. But... I think we might be friends. I don't know. Things have cooled down a lot. He's different than I thought he would be."

"...So you like him."

"No."

"You totally do."

I slapped her arm playfully, rolling my eyes. "I do not. And even if I did, it wouldn't matter. Face the facts, Sydney. I've never had a boyfriend in my entire life. No one's been interested in me like that, because, well, look at me. And Blake... He could get any girl he wanted. It could never be me."

Sydney grabbed an apple off of the counter. "I hate when you say stuff like that."

"Why? It's true."

"Ellie, you're gorgeous. When are you going to learn that weight isn't everything? Your weight doesn't determine whether or not you're worthy of being loved, or even liked. If Blake liked you, I wouldn't blame him. You create the life you want, El. The moment you step into all of your potential, and find confidence in your own skin... Everything changes."

I bit my lip, watching as Blake sat down at a table with his friends. Maybe Sydney was right. Maybe I was worth more than I thought.

"It doesn't matter," I said, watching him toss a ball to Julian. "Look at who he's friends with. There's no way he sees me as anything other than someone to make fun of."

***

"So? My house or yours?"

"What?" I asked, looking up from my notebook. 

"For the project," Blake spelled out, narrowing his eyes. He set down his pencil. "We've still got a few things to finish up. We haven't even started with our essay portion. I thought maybe we could meet up after school today to work on it."

I sighed. "About that..." Looking around at the room, seeing all the students working together on projects, I realized I just couldn't do this anymore. There was something else going on and I refused to be a part of it.

"Look. I'm pretty decent at writing. I can just do the essay on my own. Don't worry about it."

"What? Why?" Blake asked, leaning back in his seat. "I want to help, El. Plus, I thought we were... kind of getting to know each other. Truce, right?"

I bit my lip. "...I don't know. You and me... We're not friends. I forgot that for a while. But now things are clear."

"What's going on?"

I closed my notebook, sick of the shenanigans. "Don't play dumb. You and Julian are best friends. After everything he's done to me, the way he treats me... I can't believe that he hasn't questioned you hanging out with me. I can't believe that you're not... playing his sick game."

"Julian's not like that."

"I guess we're talking about two different Julians, then."

"I'm not going to stop being friends with him," Blake said, letting out a laugh.

"I'm not asking you to," I said, as the school bell rang. I started to pack up my belongings. "I'm taking myself out of the situation." With that, I grabbed my bag and left before he could say more.

***

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, still trying to shake off last period's conversation. I'd done the right thing. Soon enough, this project would be over with, and Blake Sivan would be out of my life. It was better this way. The closer I was to Blake, the closer I was to Julian. Which meant I was always too close to danger for my own comfort.

Julian Summers was the sole reason I hated high-school. And most of middle school. With him and Ingrid in charge of the school, it was as if I was living in my own personal hell. I'd received comments about my weight, embarrassing pranks in front of the school, and more cyberbullying than I could imagine. It was hard to believe Julian wouldn't find a way to hurt me through Blake.

I dried my hands off on my jeans and left the bathroom, still lost in my thoughts.

"I don't care Blake, I really don't care."

As I turned the corner, a familiar voice caught my attention. Speak of the devil. 

Julian stood in front of one of the classrooms, his arms crossed. Blake stood across from him,  his hands clenched into fists.

I knew it was none of my business what was going on. But I couldn't help but watch. I trekked down the corridor with determination, following the sound of Julian's annoyed voice. It got more and more frustrated as I got closer, and soon enough he was yelling profanities.

"I just don't fucking get it, Blake! I fucking-" There was a sudden, jarring thud, and then silence.

I stood around the corner and jumped when I heard it. Peeking around the corner, I saw Blake with his fists around Julian's collar. Julian, only a few inches shorter than Blake, looked him directly in the eyes. He whispered something under his breath, something to quiet from me to hear.

I watched as Blake's eyes widened.

In a split second his fist had collided with Julian's jaw.

In sudden shock, I gasped. And loudly too. I ran to the two boys, wedging myself between them. 

"Blake-" I said, pushing them apart, "What-are-you-"

He pulled his fist back, preparing to hit Julian, and the next thing I knew, I saw black.

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