Fat Girl ✔️

A Real Relationship Begins

A large purple welt was forming on my cheek.

I touched it softly, then inhaled sharply at the pain. It hurt to smile, or even talk.

"I'm so sorry." Blake apologized for the hundredth time. I turned away from the small mirror in the nurse's office, holding an ice pack to my face. The moment kept replaying in my head. The look on Blake's face when he'd heard what Julian said. The way his eyes got dark. The fight. Trying to stop it- and failing.

It was all so confusing. 

"What was that fight about?" I asked, leaning my head back in the seat. "Was it about me?"

"No," Blake said, letting out a small laugh. He cam and sat next to me. "It wasn't about you. Well. It started off about you. Then things got... complicated."

"I'm sorry."

He said nothing. He just stared ahead for a while, silent. He scratched the back of his neck. Then he picked his head up, turning to me again.

"Look," he said, glancing at my swollen cheek, "I can't promise that I'll stop being friends with Julian. I know he can be... a lot, and I've seen the things he's done. He's not a great guy, I know that. But he's dealing with some... other stuff. I need to be there for him."

I crossed my arms. "Okay. I get it."

"That doesn't mean I want to stop being friends with you. I think you're awesome."

"Really? You're not just saying that because you punched me in the face five minutes ago?"

Blake chuckled. "No. I'm serious." He stood up, offering his hand to me.  "I can promise you that I won't treat you the way Julian does. And I can talk to him about the way he treats you. But I'm not giving up on him." 

I looked at his hand, stretched out to me like an olive branch. This was my chance to change things. I'd wanted senior year to be different, right? I thought of spending all year happy. With new friends. Less bullying. I wanted that, more than anything. 

I took his hand, pulling myself up. 

"Okay. Truce. For real this time."

As we walked out of the nurses office, Blake turned to me. He looked at the ice pack in my hand guiltily, then back up at the bruise on my face again. 

"Let me make it up to you. For the face. You free this weekend?"

***

Sydney was heartbroken.

Or was she? I couldn't tell. I watched her emotionless face as we sat in the cafeteria, just one table down from where Bella and Shawn sat together. She stared art them. I was expecting her to at least say something, but she didn't. She simply sat quietly in her seat.

"Are you okay? Sydney?"

I looked back at the table. They were all over each other. The thought that Bella could do something like this with no explanation... What type of friend was she? She'd changed so much.

"...I'm fine." Sydney looked back down at her food, staring into her tray. Shawn wasn't a good guy. We both knew that. It wasn't that she wanted him back, or missed him at all. It was that Bella would see him after everything they'd been through together. I remembered hundreds of sleepovers spent making fun of him, Sydney venting about all the horrible things he used to do and say. Bella and I would always laugh, because we didn't know him any better than she did. It was like an inside joke. Now she was eating lunch with that joke.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," Sydney said, excusing herself. She left me alone at the table.

I couldn't take it anymore. I watched Sydney rush out of the room, and I turned my attention back to the lunch table. What was her excuse? Was she just head-over-heels in love with Shawn and she didn't want to have to explain it to us? Did she want a taste of what it was like to be popular? Or was she faking the friendship with Sydney and I the whole time? Was this the real her, finally coming out of her shell, and she just couldn't wait to be rid of us?

Bella stood up from her seat, heading to the lunch line for a napkin. Before I could register what was happening, I was following her.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked, standing behind her. She spun around, her eyes widening when she recognized me.

"...Ellie. Hey."

"Don't 'Hey' me. I want answers. What happened to you?"

Bella looked away, reaching over the counter for a napkin. She was dressing differently now. Instead of her usual sweatshirt and jeans, she wore a small skirt and a tiny pink crop top. Her hair was curled, and she was wearing eyeshadow. I hardly recognized her. No book. Just her purse and phone. For the first time, I realized just how different things were. 

"So that's it? Ten years of friendship down the drain? And for what, some guy who doesn't even know you for who you are and a group of mean girls?"

Bella wouldn't look me in the eyes. 

"This isn't you, Bella. I know it isn't. What's going on?"

She tried to step past me. I blocked the way. Sydney would be back any moment. I had to do this quickly.

"Were we not good enough for you, Bella?"

At that, she looked up at me. For the first time, I sensed regret in her eyes. She opened her mouth to say something.

"Come on, Bella. What's taking you so long?"

I turned to find Ingrid at the lunch table, calling Bella over. Just like that, the moment was gone. She slipped past me. That was it. No answers. Nothing.

I wanted to rush over to the table and demand for her to say something. Anything. I just wanted a reason. The silence, the not knowing... it was torture. 

But I couldn't do that. Not now. I had to fix the mess she'd made. I headed for the bathroom, hoping I could find a way to comfort Sydney. With one last look at Bella and her new friends, I knew it was the end of a chapter for us. Things were different now.

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