Jump (Dear Evan Hansen)

The Sleepover

"You bought a sleeping bag?"

"Yeah... it's a sleepover," I say as I lay the blue sleeping bag across Connor's floor. My mom said that it reminded her of my blue striped polo shirt that I wear a lot.

"Well I couldn't let my boyfriend sleep on the floor," he says tenderly. "It's okay, my parents aren't gonna freak if we are in the same bed or anything." I nod, he's probably right. I begin to climb into Connor's bed in my Superman pajamas (I think I look nerdy, but Connor says they're adorable), and Connor does the same. Mrs. Murphy walks into the room.

"Goodnight boys. Please, don't do anything crazy."

"Goodnight mom," Connor says, sounding suddenly quieter.

"Goodnight Mrs. Murphy," I say. And with that, she flicks the lights off for us and leaves the room. I begin to nuzzle under the covers, until Connor sits up. "Connor," I whisper, "what's wrong?"

"Dude, we aren't falling asleep yet," he whispers back as he hops up, places a sweatshirt under the crack of the door, and turns the lights back on.

"W-what's with the sweatshirt?"

"They can't see the light coming under the door," he explains, now talking at a normal volume. "They'll never know we're up. Plus, it helps to block sound."

"Wow. So your like, a sleepover expert?"

"I only give the finest of expertise, Mr. Hansen," he says as he pretends to straighten the tie that is printed on his shirt. A giggle escapes me, and Connor grins. "Do you want food?"

"Food? Connor I'm not sneaking downstairs!"

"Who said anything about sneaking downstairs?" Connor asks as he heads to his dresser. He opens the bottom drawer, flings the shirts in the front across the floor, and sticks his arms into the back of the drawer, before pulling a large stash of snacks to the front of the drawer. "Take your pick."

"How-"

"Are you questioning the master?"

"Your skills," I say in a funny voice, "are just so,  amazing." With that, Connor does a small bow, and chucks a bag of Bugles at me. "Hey," I say playfully as I back up a step.

"So, do you have a preference for your Netflix binging?"

"I, I don't have Netflix."

"Evan, you ignorant slut!" Connor exclaims as he throws a can of Pringles at my leg.

"My bad?"

"Dwight Schrute?"

"Who?"

"Evan, please tell me you've seen The Office before."

"Who's office? Your dad's?"

"Oh. My. God. Evan, you are in for a hell of a night. We'll see how many of the nine seasons we can get through," Connor says as he grabs his laptop from his desk and lightly drops it in the bed. I sit on the bed with my legs out in front of me and Connor walks back over to the snack pile and grabs some of it. He dumps the various packages onto my legs, almost like when someone buries your legs in sand at the beach. Connor climbs in next to me, and I lean forward to grab the snacks, placing them in between us, while he grabs the laptop from his feet. He opens it up, logs in, and opens Netflix while I rummage through the food. It's all junk food, but who can blame him? Mrs. Murphy is usually on a diet of some sort. I believe right now everything is organic. So I'm not surprised that Connor has to hide this stuff because she'd probably treat it like drugs. I stick my legs under the covers and Connor pulls them over us. He places the computer in between us and hits play, immediately grabbing a bag of Doritos afterwards. "I miss this stuff so much," he says as he eats a chip. I smile, and then watch as two men talk in a small office. Connor explains everyone to me as they appear on screen and I enjoy his gentle words as I learn of Michael Scott, Jim Halpert, Dwight Schrute, Pam Beesly, and the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.

"Wait," I say, "it's over ALREADY?!"

"It's a good show. Episodes seem faster than they truly are. Did you like it?"

"Yes! I loved it! Can we watch another episode. And maybe get some Jello?"

"Your adorable," Connor smirks as he bops me in the shoulder. "And no, I'm not going downstairs to make Jello so you can put my stuff in it."

By the time we are halfway into the second season and I have lost track of time, my eyes become heavy. I lean my head into Connor's shoulder and try my best to keep my eyes open for as long as I can, but find myself having trouble. Slowly, I fall asleep.

~

"Mom, I have something to tell you," I say as sweat drips from my face.

"You can tell me anything, sweetie."

You have a boy crush. It's so obvious. The words of Jared's letter run through my head.

"Mom," I start to say.

Step into the sun, buddy. Think of me as your sunscreen. You aren't going to get burned.

"I'm bisexual..."

Good luck, Zoe says in my head.

"And I'm dating Connor Murphy."

She stares at me, eyes wide.

"Except for that," she says.

"What?"

"My son is already screwed up enough. I'm sending you to live with Dr. Sherman until you can straighten things up."

She picks me up and I kick, trying to fight her, but I can't. I'm weak, afraid. She shoves me into the back of the car and speeds down the roads. I begin shaking as the speed reads 70, 80, then 90 MPH.

"Just let me off," I say. "Just let me off," I say, my volume increasing.

"JUST LET ME OFF!"

I breath heavily, sweat pouring down me.

"Evan? Evan oh my god what happened?" Connor asks. It was just a dream. I start to stutter something but it just turns into a cry. Connor sits up next to me and places his arms around me, rubbing my back and shushing me.

I truly do have the best boyfriend ever. And nothing can change that. Not even my mom.

We continue to sit together in the dark, until he puts on another episode of The Office, which of course makes me laugh. I lean into his shoulder, and he kisses me on the forehead.

And nothing can change that. Not even my mom.