Dysmorphia

Moving On

Florence knew that a Facebook Update shouldn't have hit her so hard as it did when she refreshed her Facebook feed and saw Cooper's status, for so long she had become accustomed to liking and commenting on every single one of her friend's posts.

And seeing that Cooper seemed to have forgotten they had once been a four made her want to weep. Despite Madison's almost bitter speech about how Cooper couldn't get over their former friendship, Florence would beg to differ, her phone stayed silent.

She wanted to cry but she'd done enough weeping to last a lifetime this week.

She was up at 6 am, her new start time for the day, she placed her phone on her desk watching as Adrienne Dolma began stretching for her morning workout, Florence copied her movements exactly.

Once she had finished stretching she changed into her sports leggings and a loose t-shirt, she had a fifteen-minute jog to complete.

It was always better to jog in the morning when hardly anyone was around, no one to laugh at the fat girl trying to do some exercise.

But her lungs burned and her chest ached as she pushed herself further and further though she knew she was already out of breath, she could feel her thighs slapping against each other and her stomach lifting every time she took a step and that made her want to punish herself even more, she deserved this pain, every single bit of it.

She shouldn't have let herself go, shouldn't have let herself resemble a beached whale, only she could put this right, only she could fix this.

To her surprise when she arrived home panting and spluttering her mother was already awake, an unusual expression on her face.

"Since when do you wake up this early Flo?" she asked looking at her with concern.

Florence tried to feign a light-hearted tone. 

"Oh you know Mum, the early bird catches the worm!" she said.

"And I thought you're opening the Diner late this week?" she asked.

"I am, I just thought it would be nice for the two of us to eat breakfast together, I know until Dad gets back we can't be a proper family, but he'll be here before we know it!"

Florence was dreading the moment her father returned from California, he was far more eagle-eyed than her Mother and would interrogate her if he saw some of the strange habits she was beginning to develop, his little Florence didn't run before school, didn't turn down a plate of maple syrup pancakes for a banana, and she dreaded seeing him realise that what people had done to her had affected her so much.

"I know you're trying to make some healthy changes love so I made you this" her mother set in front of her a plate with two grapes as eyes, a pineapple chunk as a nose and blueberries set into a wide grin, with a tub of low-fat yogurt on the side.

Florence felt tears in the corner of her eyes, she threw her arms around her nervous-looking Mum.

"Thanks, Mum" she whispered into her pink cardigan "I love you"

"I love you too Curly Mop" 

Her mother used her childhood nickname and then brushed her hair away from her face.