Words I'll Never Say

♥{82} Lies

June 28th 2017, 19:19

And then, one fine day, I realised that it was all my own fault, because I refused to believe them.
They told me you'd break my heart, that you and I weren't meant to be. But I didn't see that back then.

I believed in a lie that was presented to me as a truth. I trusted a charming mask though I knew that it had to fall off one day. But I still went on with it just to keep the fire burning for another minute, another day perhaps.
So I tried to be enough for you, and you made me believe I was or maybe that was just you being nice.

Now I think what's hurting me the most is that so many people saw it coming, and the only thing I ever wanted you to do was prove them all wrong. But you couldn't even do that for me.
And just between you and me, I saw it coming too but I thought you were different.

However, I prepared myself. I prepared myself for you to walk away. I prepared myself for you to leave. I prepared myself for heartbreak. I prepared myself for what it'd feel like not feeling the warmth of your body against mine. I prepared myself for the fact that a day will come and I'll have to forget the story behind the scar on your right hand or the way you take your coffee. I prepared myself for the feeling I'd get when seeing you love somebody else. I prepared myself to be able to fake a smile when you asked how I was going. I prepared myself to pick up the pieces of my broken heart without your help.

I prepared myself, and yet, here I am curled up on the bathroom floor, sobbing, wondering what I could've done to make you stay.

~ Zeina

Love,
Always. ❤