ALL 2 U (DINAH JANE) (LESBIAN STORIES) [On Hold]

VALU

a new update, two years later. you're welcome.

DINAH JANE

"You are wise beyond your years Dinah Jane Hansen and you are anything but a burden to me. Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead," China seemed to be holding back tears and she was scaring me. What could she possibly want to say that is so bad?

"I think, I think I'm falling in love with you."

Yikes.

"What? Sorry, for a second there I thought you said that you think you're falling in love with me. It must be this wannabe juice messing with my brain."

China let out a small chuckle, "Nothing is messing with your brain Dinah Jane. I am falling hard and fast for you."

"Are you fucking kidding me China? Do you not realise what you're doing?" I was beyond pissed and very emotional at this point. I feel like this is a cruel joke.

"What? I don't understand." China wore a look of confusion and I hate how she does not see what she's doing.

"I told you this before, Nachi" I shouldn't have called her that now I'm surely going to cry. "I know that you won't leave Pearl, I've learnt to accept that I'll never fully have you and you saying things like that is making it really hard for my heart to let you go." A rogue tear made it's way down my face and I didn't have the energy to wipe it off.

"Dinah," China let out a choked sob and my chest tightened. I hated seeing her in pain. "I don't love Pearl as much as I love you. I don't need her as much as I need you."

"So what exactly are you saying, Nachi?" I let out a few more tears before continuing, "Because the last time we had this talk it felt like we were breaking up and we aren't even together. I need a little bit more." 

I finally shifted my gaze from my hands to look at the cause of my pain right now. In the past minute or so I realised that I too was falling for the South African in front of me but this is an unruly mess we have found ourselves in. I cannot share her, I refuse to share her. I don't want to compete for her heart because if I lose it, mine gets lost too.

"I'm sorry Deej, I wish this was more simple." China whispered but I refused to look at her because it was guaranteed that I would cry harder and that's not cute.

"I don't want to share you, China. I can't. So what happens now?"

"I don't know Dinah but please promise me you'll wait for me. I need to know that you'll wait Deej. I don't know what to do yet but I'll figure it out."

Wow, this is not what I had imagined for myself when I moved her. This was not part of the plan.

"You're not being fair, China. How can you expect me to wait for you and watch from the sidelines as you love someone else?"

"I don't love her, Deej, that's what I'm trying to tell you. I'm just asking you to be patient as I figure out a way to let Pearl know without hurting her too much," she came closer and placed one hand gently on my cheek and I leaned into it.

"Alright," I said finally coming to a decision. "I'll wait because I highly doubt anyone can capture my heart as much as you have."

"Thank you," she smiled and I smiled back admiring the sparkle in her eyes. We shared a long embrace then she packed up her things preparing to leave.

"I'll walk you out," I held her hand and memorised how right this moment felt.

~

"Hi Dinah, oh my gosh it's so nice to see your face!"

"Hey Ally, it's so nice to see your face. How have you been doing? Wass good, wass popping?" I smiled at the screen as Ally giggled at nothing ready. She was such a happy person and I admired how she always tried to find the positive side of any situation.

"Everything is just fine, Dj. I'm more worried about you since you're all the way in a different part of the world. How is SA treating you? Normani mentioned that you've found yourself a new hun," I rolled my eyes at the last question. Of course Normani told everyone, I expected nothing less from her to be honest.

"I'm not going to lie, Ally. At the moment, this place has me by the neck. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love the place and my course but I'm not doing so well on the social part. I'm in a bit of drama with my South African hun, send help please," I let out a huge sigh to emphasise the gravity of the situation I'm facing.

"What's wrong?"

"What does your psychology textbooks say about love and heartbreak? I need their wisdom right now."

"Nothing specific. What's wrong, Dinah. Maybe I can help," she gives a small smile and I begin to explain my situation from the beginning. I tell her about the day of the premiere, the day after and what happened earlier today.

"So yeah that's basically what's going. I'm waiting on something I'm not sure will happen and I really hope something happens because my heart can't handle rejection right now," my voice cracks towards the end. I really hate being in serious situations because I'm all about enjoying life, I don't like what's happening right now.

"Alright, the way I see it you just gotta leave it be. It's not guaranteed that she'll do what she promised, humans are weird that way. But to spare you the pain of the unknown and the suspense, it's best you just focus on something else right now," Ally's soft eyes pierced through the screen and I could feel the comfort they offered,

"I wish it were that simple Allycat," I let out a deep breath, all this stress was going to kill me one day. "However, I see your point and I agree. I'll try my best not to care too much."

"No one is saying don't care about her, just don't fall without anyone being there to catch you. Do you understand?" I nodded dejectedly at the older girl. "Alright, I have to love and leave you babe, I have an event to get to. Promise me you'll be fine."

"I'll be okay. Bye babe."

"Chau babe." 

I slowly closed my laptop and stared at the wall for a moment before moving to get my night routine done and get ready for bed. Once I was done, I realised I had a text message from the one person occupying my thoughts right now.

Great Wall 💅🏾🐼-

Thank you for today Deej. See you in class. Goodnight love 😘

I smiled at the text while trying not to think about the endearment and choice of emoji. Leave it be, Dinah Jane, leave it be. After a few deep breaths I put my phone back on the charger and crawled into bed.