When Best Friends Kiss

The Kiss - Part 2

As I stared at Liam's shocked face, the world unfroze, the fireworks fizzled away, and the flame inside me blew out. The sound of partygoers and tunes of Gwen Stefani playing downstairs were suddenly loud in my ears again. I recalled where I was. The party at the end of eighth grade. We were about to become high schoolers, so we thought we were officially adults. But we were all just impulsive, stupid teenage kids. And I was the stupidest of them all.

Unfortunately, the party sounds weren't loud enough to drown out the kissing noises coming from the room we were guarding for our friend Jeremy. We were a part of his plans to finally score with his girlfriend, but from the sound of things, they were only making out. Lucky for me that I didn't have to hear a girl moaning which I was quietly dreading. Unlucky for me the sounds plus the alcohol in my bloodstream were enough to get me hot and bothered. And then Liam had looked at me with his hazel eyes and given me one of his cute crooked smiles and I had lost all reason.

Unlucky for both of us that after my surprise kiss, the kissing-moans were just making things all the more awkward.

Liam stood up quickly, tugging at the hem of his white t-shirt to recover the peeking striped waistband of his boxers. "Uh..." His panicked eyes shot towards the stairs.

I then came to my senses. "Oh, whoa. Sorry, man." I forced a laugh. "I must be really fucking drunk." I willed myself to rub the remnants of Liam's lips from my own, trying to look like I was grossed out. My eyes stung. I knew that no matter what I said or did, he wouldn't buy it. I stood up as well, now noticing that at some point, Liam's beer can had been knocked over and the liquid was seeping into the carpet. Seeing it somehow made the tears try even more to seep out of my eyes. "Yeah, I'm just gonna go home... I drank too much."

I glanced at Liam. His hazel eyes were full of apprehension and his entire body was tense.

I ducked my head feeling the tears start to pour forth and not wanting Liam to see. "See ya, man," I coughed out, forcing normative masculinity until the end.

I dashed down the stairs, through a straight couple making out, and burst out the front door. As I sprinted down the suburban street, I bawled like a baby. It was over. Everything was over.

Passing by the neighborhood lake, I came to a stop and considered throwing myself in. The streetlights reflected gracefully in the still night water. But dying was seriously scary, so I quickly reconsidered. I couldn't go home buzzed and red-eyed though; my mom might notice and if my tía was there, I definitely wouldn't get past her.

So, I sat down by the lake and replayed the party in my head.
Liam leading me around and not leaving my side for a second. Us sitting by the bedroom door, feeling like the only two people in the world despite the noise. My lips meeting his and him letting me kiss him. Why did he let me kiss him? My chest clenched from the betrayal. Maybe he was just shocked or the alcohol slowed his reaction time because the force with which he'd shoved me away was clear. My feelings were unrequited.

Liam was my best friend who had been by my side unfaltering for seven years. He
had the biggest heart I'd ever encountered. Even if I came out as gay, he probably wouldn't mind.
I'd just assure him I wasn't into him and that the kiss was just a drunken mistake. I would look
into his eyes and lie, because I was desperate to not lose the person who meant everything to me.