When Best Friends Kiss

The Visit - Part 4

What would I do? I'd planned for Toronto because that's where Alex would be. If he was going to be someplace else? What now? And Vancouver, all the way on the other side of the country? How could I make that work?

Rashaad snorted and Lexi exchanged a look with them.

"It was just hypothetical," she said. "You can calm down."

Feeling awkward after realizing I had been kind of freaking out, I continued eating and glanced at Alex. Our eyes met and he immediately looked away.

"Lexi," Alex said with mellow excitement, "tell me how work's going."

Lexi went into talking about her work, then asked what types of jobs I was looking for. I answered her barrage of questions then excused myself to head to the bathroom.

When Alex thought I was out of earshot, he hissed, "Lexi, for fuck's sake."

"Honestly," Rashaad followed up quickly. "That poor guy."

I hear Lexi defensively shout, "What?!" before I disappeared into the restroom. I knew they probably had plenty to say about me to Alex or maybe Alex had plenty say to them. I waited, giving them about three minutes before stepping back out. But as I got closer to the table, I noticed Alex was fussing. Rashaad was covering their face with their hands and Lexi's arms were crossed.

I got closer and heard Alex finish, "not going to get hurt! I'm done with that shit."

I stopped, wondering if I should turn around and make myself scarce again.

"The next guy needs to have it 100% figured out. I'm not playing games."

It sounded like the topic was broader than just me, so I decided to continue towards them.

"Okay," Rashaad said. "Do what you think―" Lexi's eyes met mine and she nudged Rashaad as I approached the table.

"Are you all done talking about me, or should I go back and use the hand dryer this time?"

"It still runs with one Watt of power?" Rashaad asked.

"Maybe half a Watt," I replied as Alex scooted inside and grabbed my arm to sit me down.

"It's been broken for years. I think its name is Larry."

"The hand dryer's name is Larry? Why Larry?"

"No one knows." Sounded like a strange college town story.

I glanced at Alex to gauge how he was doing. He seemed a bit sombre. Lexi did as well. Rashaad had lightened the atmosphere but not their moods. As I wondered what I could do for Alex and worried for him, I stared.

"Alex!" Lexi said loudly, throwing out her hand towards me. "Look at―"

"Lexi, shut up! Liam, let's go." Alex took some bills out of his wallet then slammed them on the table and pushed me out.

"Are you two fighting because of me?" I asked, concerned. Alex had already pushed me to the edge of the bench, forcing me to stand.

"We're not fighting," Alex said, rolling his eyes. "We're not fighting," he repeated, then sighed. He walked over to Lexi and hugged her warmly. "It was good to see you."

Lexi hugged him back. "I just want you to be happy, Alex," she told him, brows pinched.

"I know. Thank you."

They separated and Lexi smiled gently at me and said, "It was nice meeting you, Liam. Hope we'll see each other again."

"Good luck with your interview," Rashaad added.

"Thanks." I waved and Alex put his hand on my arm and led me out. "Do you want me to drive?" I asked when we reached the car. Alex nodded and tossed me the keys.

As I pulled into the street, he was quiet, not smiling while he stared out the window.

"Alex, if I ever do anything that hurts you, please let me know. I'll do whatever, anything, I'll change. So just tell me."

Alex was still silent so it didn't seem like my words helped. I picked up my phone, unlocked it, and opened voice command. "Play The Cure," I said into the mic.

Within seconds, our favourite band from our early teen years started playing. As the instrumental intro began, I realized I had shot myself in the foot, though. It'd chosen to play Lovesong.

Alex glanced over at my phone as the lyrics passed between us.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

We tried to put up with the awkwardness. Changing the song was acknowledging what we tried to ignore―our past and the difference and similarity in our feelings. Alex's fears of his feelings returning.

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

So we sat and listened until the awkwardness made us burst into a fit of laughter and despite it all, we began singing along.

However far away

Whatever words I say

The voices of me, Alex, and Robert Smith filled the car and we rolled down the windows and sang to the nighttime Toronto streets and highway.

"I will always love you."

"I will always love you."