When the gods go to war, it's their people who suffer.
The moon was the most benevolent of them until they took everything from her. Vengeance turned her into the instrument of destruction, now those who destroyed her have to give her back what the...
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The words that hurt most were uttered by loved ones, more so when they were never meant to hurt and just simple truths. Her statement hung in the air like a miasma of foul breaths, needing to be aired but foul all the same.
He froze in the act of sitting next to her on the narrow bed, their eyes holding on. As if the other was all there was to the moment. She looked so uncertain, like a part of her feared he would lash out at her for it. Settling the rest of the way, he faced her as she huddled against the wall, protecting herself. Which was his job.
Reaching out, he brushed her hair behind the other ear, relishing the silky texture of it and the sparks that ignited between them at the simple touch. He couldn't resist brushing a finger down to her cute chin.
"You don't have to do anything, just be yourself," he explained.
While she tried to keep her voice even, her distress came through in her tone. "You know what I mean."
"No I don't, not really, I can guess, but whatever that guess, it'll never be what you really mean. So tell me what you mean.
Tania looked down as she considered that, her long lashes fanning her cheeks. After a moment, those lashes feathered up, showing deep cerulean fathomless eyes. She drew back as if the wall might shift further for her to move away. Taking a deep breath she settled herself then gave him a small nod.
"There are expectations to being a mate, you know like sex," she looked away at that, but faced him again to emphasize the last. "I can't do that again."
The pain in her eyes reached right through him, his heart twisted as his stomach tossed. Of course, he should have known. She had just gone through the worst thing a girl could go through, the last thing she needed was to think of another guy wanting the same, not that it would be the same.
"It won't be the same," he said as gently as he could, knowing that she needed to hear it but wouldn't believe it, that she already knew it but still didn't believe it. "But that isn't important right now."
"It isn't?" she frowned. "But I thought guys couldn't, like stay without sex for long after they find their mates."
He smiled at that. "Let me guess, you heard that from a guy?" he grinned. "Tania, guys can control themselves just fine, most just don't want to. It's easy for them to blame their hormones, but that's just excuses."
"They are?" he found her confusion cute but refrained from saying so.
"Yes," he replied, brushing her hair away from her face, unable to resist touching her. "I can control myself and will never force anything on you. What happened to you should never have, I can only imagine how devastating it was. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you."
He leaned forward, resting his forehead on hers, all the while holding her tearful gaze with his. The sparks ignited from where they touched, weakening every cell of his body with the pleasure of it. Waiting was going to be hell, but his mate was worth it.
He cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb against it in a soothing motion. Her breath caught as she too felt those sparks that pronounced what they were to each other. "Making love between mates is the most amazing experience," he stated. "But I know you're not ready to even consider that so we'll forget about it for now."
"And if I never get to the point of being ready?" she whispered.
He trailed his fingers lightly down her arm. She shivered, her breath catching audibly before she let it out on a small squeal. "You feel that? That's the attraction of mates, some people say it's our souls sparking off each other as they try to form the mate bond. As long as that bond isn't there, the drive to be together will get stronger."
Her eyes widened and her tanned skin paled." You mean I'll want to...?" She left it at that as if she couldn't fathom wanting him.
Lex's heart squeezed painfully at the thought and his wolf whined as if mortally wounded. He squashed the instinctive hurt, Tania couldn't imagine doing anything sexual, it had nothing to do with him and who he was. It was just where she was and he had to be supportive and not push her.
'She is not rejecting us' he addressed his wolf. 'Our mate just needs time to adjust to us, that's all.' Lex hoped he wasn't lying to the wolf. Some people never get over bad experiences no matter how much time passes.
"Breathe," the whispered command was gentle, threading its way through her panic to focus her on him. "That's it, sweetheart, focus on me."
Vulnerable, desperate eyes held on to his like he was her lifeline. The wolf in him perked up at that show of trust but Lex focused on watching her. Moving his hand back to her cheek, he ran soothing circles over it. With every breath she took, his scent worked its magic on her, calming her. Only as a mate could.
"You have nothing to worry about," he continued. "It won't happen until you are ready, nothing and no one is going to force you to be with me." Lex knew he was going to repeat that statement in various ways before she believed it, more importantly, he was going to show her. "And the thing that makes me believe you will get there?" he smiled. "We are having our first conversation ever, well second, but that one really wasn't one, it's about sex and you're not running away or too uncomfortable."
A shy smile curved her lips just the tiniest bit before disappearing. "That's true."
"So how about for now, we buy waterproof phones, and text each other constantly, even in the shower. Avoid being in the same room or eye contact but talk about everything and flirt while we text. If you feel like you need more, we'll hash it out and see where to go. How does that sound?"
"Good."
"Good. Can we seal that with a kiss?" he grinned, "Just a small one?"
She lowered her eyes, a blush staining her cheeks. "I've never kissed anyone."
He had to bite his lips to stop himself from swearing. She had been so innocent before that bastard had brutalized her. If, no when, he got a hold of him, the bastard was dead. With a lot of effort he suppressed his anger, not wanting Tania to scent it and get the wrong idea.
He drew back from her just a little. "That changes things." Slowly, to give her time to pull away if she wanted, he drew closer. Her lips parted, softened. He brushed his against the corner of hers, more her cheek than lips.
"What..?"
"When you're ready," he stated. "Now scoot over, if this is the last time we get to be in the same room for a while, let's make the best of it."
When she did, he lay down at the edge of the narrow bed, leaving enough room for her to lie beside him. His invitation wasn't subtle, with her assessing eyes glued to his she shifted to lie next to him, right on the edge.
