04. you're off

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"Cass?" a masculine voice sounded around the corner of the bedroom door moments after Alec walked out, and Cassia froze just like she had a few minutes before when she'd heard his voice

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"Cass?" a masculine voice sounded around the corner of the bedroom door moments after Alec walked out, and Cassia froze just like she had a few minutes before when she'd heard his voice.

"What do you want, Jace?" she asked the blonde boy, doing her best not to dwell on the fact that his usually precisely-styled longish hair was disheveled and in his face, which just so happened to be her favorite thing. It was clear that he had just come from the training room, and Cassia wished he'd just leave, for more reasons than one.

"I just... I know everything happened really fast and I'm sorry I wasn't at the wedding," he said, surprising her. It was true; Jace hadn't been at Alec and Cassia's wedding, a fact that had annoyed both of them greatly for very different reasons. Some sick and ridiculous part of Cass had almost wished Jace would have swooped in and saved her at the last minute; confessing his love for her as a reason she definitely couldn't go through with the wedding to Alec. It wasn't that she was in love with Jace, because she wasn't. More than anything else, she'd just been so nervous about the wedding and since childhood, Jace had been a calming force in her life. Not having him there had made her usually well-controlled anxiety rocket through the roof, which is why she'd ended up breaking down and crying in front of Alec the next day.

"You don't have to apologize," she told Jace roughly, stepping behind the privacy screen in the corner of the room to change. She'd have to thank Izzy later for that one; she definitely wasn't ready to freely change in front of Alec. Plus, it gave her the time to compose the anger on her face in front of Jace.

"Cassia, listen, I know you're mad and I'm sorry, okay?" he said, stepping towards her. She put her hand out in front of her, smacking him right in the chest.

"I'm changing, obviously. Jesus, Jace."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, you have nothing to apologize for. It's whatever. We needed you there and you weren't and Alec and I both survived. I understand you were probably helping Clary with something or whatever," Cassia's tone was short and sounded angry and she cursed herself for it.

"Cass, no, I... You know why I wasn't there," he said tensely, and without even looking at his face, she knew that there were probably tears in his eyes, because there were in hers. She stepped out from around the screen and towards him. He backed against the wall behind them and she pushed him just slightly.

"Don't do that, Jace. Don't act now, once everything is done, like you give a shit," she said to him, a hot tear slipping down her cheek. Their faces were close, close enough that she could smell spearmint gum on his breath. She stared at him, watching as he formulated his next thought.

"I do give a shit, Cass, you know I do. I... it hurt too much, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? It hurt me too much to watch my two best friends marry each other when they don't love each other. It hurts too much to know that the longer you two are married, my parabatai bond with Alec will weaken because of your union. It hurts too much to watch you, the only girl I've ever loved truly, be in a loveless marriage. It hurts and I couldn't watch it. Call me a coward or whatever else you want to call me, but I just couldn't do it," Jace rattled off, surprising Cassia with his emotion. She thought about his words for a long time, staring at his disheveled hair and soft eyes. Finally, she couldn't hold herself back anymore. She jumped into his arms, wrapping herself around him tightly.

"I needed you, Jace. I needed you and you weren't there," she sobbed the words into her chest, and Jace tangled a hand into her hair.

"I know. I'm sorry, little one. I'm so sorry," he said, using the nickname he'd had for her since they'd met as children. At that moment, the door opened behind them. They flew off of each other like they were on fire, both of them looking up as Alec studied them. He slammed the door behind himself, looking at them both with a seething look.

"Are you joking? Have I walked into an alternate dimension where everyone is just always joking?" Alec asked, and Cassia shook her head, stepping toward him.

"Alec, nothing happened. We were just hugging. I was just telling him what a prick he is for not coming to the wedding," she said, and a glance back at Jace told her he was nodding vigorously.

"Alright, well no more of this. I know about you guys. I know you've been on and off basically since you were ten, but right now, you're off. No flirtatious looks, no lingering hugs, none of that. You never know who could walk through any of the doors in this entire place," Alec said, sounding a lot less angry than Cass had expected him to. When she looked up at him, she saw hurt in his eyes and it stabbed her in the heart. She couldn't bring herself to do anything other than nod, pushing past the two of them and walking out of the room.

Uncertain Times • {Alec Lightwood}Where stories live. Discover now